I told my mom a couple of months ago that I did not blame her for my absent father. I know she spent years blaming herself for not choosing better, but she had every indication that he would “do right.” Came from a middle-class, two-parent, Christian home. Had a decent job...

And yet when it came time to be a responsible adult, he flaked. That’s why all these admonishments for women to “choose better” are full of shit to me.

Some people are just fucking rotten, and there’s no checklist for avoiding that.

And this society makes sure that EVERYONE ELSE carries the shame of what a grown ass man does:

• his parents & siblings for him being a POS
• my mother for being a single mom
• me for having my mother’s maiden name, which a lot of y’all love to keekee about

Not him tho

He did it to two other women (including y’all’s beloved white women) *after* my mom, so no...it wasn’t the woman. It’s absolutely the POS man.