tw / grooming, cheating

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so, i thought really long and hard about coming forward with this because... well, i never talked about it publicly before. i have a long, longgg history with different older men grooming me all through my teenage years but i decided to focus on +

one that is still here. someone that’s still an immediate threat to other young girls on here whose ages he might brush over like he did mine.

i was 16 when i met @/putoszn in september 2018. i was going to turn 17 that following january, and he knew that. i made sure to tell +

him because i was never one to lie about my age, ever. and all he said when i told him was something along the lines of, “that’s fine, baby, i’m already in love.”

and me, being so into him, didn’t see anything wrong with that. but i’m getting too ahead of myself, so i’ll go +

back to the beginning. i met him when his name was andy. we hit it off, nothing was ever dry when it came to him, i was happy because i naively thought he would be different.

he told me he liked me, and i told him i felt the same way — maybe a week later, i get a dm from +

someone saying they thought putoszn was playing both of us. i didn’t want to believe that it was true, but i later found out that while he told me he was having a breakdown about a friend that passed, he was on the phone talking to that someone.

at that point, i was shocked +

and i wasn’t about to brush over it so i confronted him and i was like ?? and he told me that he would cut ties with the other person and that he genuinely only wants me.

that statement didn’t hold up for long. a week later, another girl came into my dms and asked if we could +

talk, and of course, i said sure! but she never replied, and i later found out that she never did because putoszn had convinced her that he and i were nothing.

along with finding that out, i also found out that he’d been playing me with three other girls this time. one of +

which were younger than me by maybe 2 years. so she was 14. i will add that putoszn is 21 now, he was 19 at the time we were together and when all of this was happening.

when i confronted him about the three girls, i simply asked him to choose. to choose one and stay loyal +

because i was tired already, i’d already dealt with cheaters before him, and it was getting really tiring to put my heart through that over and over.

he chose someone else. which was fine, i was happy for them. but then he started... flirting with me while supposedly being +

with the girl he chose, and blamed it on him being drunk. when i screenshotted and showed the girl, he got angry at me for telling her.

his anger was very short lived though, and he eventually began talking to me again and ... we started dating. two months we went steady, no +

sign of any other girl. no sign of cheating.

we took it as far as having phone calls, he would um... masturbate on the phone with me, i would be able to hear his moaning. but of course, because i was young, i didn’t understand why it was wrong that he was doing that with me. +

our 2 months of faithfulness turned out to be a lie lol. another girl dm’d me and asked if i was talking to a guy with this number, and sent a screenshot of putoszn’s number. when i said yes, she told me to text her friend.

so i did. i came to find out that he’d been dating +

this person for 5 months. FIVE. meaning he was never loyal to me from the day we met. never.

i had the breakdown of my life that day, honestly, but still i sat there and i listened to him attempt to explain himself to me — all he would say is that he’s sad, he feels like +

there’s a void he can’t fill, and that his mental disorders cause him to try to fill that void with lust and girls.

me, being as gullible as i was, i believed him and i forgave him because i loved him so.

so we continued, but the unsettled and heartbroken feeling i felt that +

day never left. it always weighted on me.

then came my 17th birthday, i made it so clear to him that i wanted him there, but... no. apparently that was too hard for him. he sent me a long message two days before my birthday, a load of bullshit, just him saying he loved me and +

that i was his soulmate and no one ever understood him the way i did.

i didn’t believe it. but i played along because i did still love him, and i didn’t want to fight.

two days later, it was my birthday... and there was no sign of him. at all. he left for a week starting +

from my birthday, and by friday, i’d damn near lost my mind over him, and i texted him saying something like, “if you don’t want me anymore, just say that, stop stringing me along.”

no reply. i was going crazy, seriously, to the point where i even checked his snapchat score to +

see if it was going up.

it was. but he never opened MY messages. i confront him about it, and we fight and he says that’s not him. we fight over him being gone, and he breaks up with me, and it all felt so shitty to the point where i apologized even though he was the one who +

hurt me, and he apologized after i did, and said that he didn’t want to lose me, that he broke up with me out of anger, and that he didn’t mean it.

i didn’t recognize how bad that was because i was so used to it... but i went back. but from that point on, he was so d r y to +

me. and he would pretend that he’s offline, that he’d been asleep for almost the whole fucking day because he took “tranquilizers.” but i caught him liking stuff and tweeting once, when he said he was sleeping.

and that set me off. i started being dry back, i started trying +

to hurt him back because i wanted revenge for what he did. but you can’t get revenge on someone who never cared in the first place.

after all of that, i sent him this message, i typed it all in my notes before i sent it to him, so you can see the timestamp. +

i deleted all my messages with him on imessage when i finally decided i’d had enough. so this is all i have as a record of what he did to me. i also have him giving me an apology that i appreciated— but never accepted. bc the wounds he left on me stayed.
i’ll include it later.

so yeah. i should mention that emarie that i mentioned in this message is known to us now as fruitroll. she told putoszn that she was 15, but we all know she’s way young. amira i mentioned in this, she was 14. this man literally did not care that he was damaging young girls.

tw / drugs, addiction

this is his apology. i blocked out our rl names. but i gave my all to him, even took it upon myself to try and help him recover from his addictions. but... i was only 16/17. there was only so much i could do and all of that took so much out of me.

so... yeah. he really did all that shit. and there’s no taking back all the hurt he caused me.

if you are his friend and you continue to be after this... block me.

if you’ve read up to this point, thank you.

he’s only one of the many predators i’ve dealt with. only one.

this was something that rubbed me the wrong way when we were talking and being “friendly” after his apology.

but umm.. yeah. if you still associate with him or know someone who is, get out fr.

i’m sorry if anything in this thread is incoherent, it was really hard for me to even type it all.

there’s some really personal stuff in this thread, and i was 16 when all of this happened, so :/.