It’s not the absence of a nuclear family that creates trauma for children. It’s being bombarded w/false perceptions of it in society *and* being told they’re experiencing a deficit because their family isn’t nuclear. The socialization is the problem.
If you didn’t grow up being told that you’re missing something, you wouldn’t internalize that. American society wants people to believe that they lack bc their family doesn’t fit *this* category. Research only views it from a lens of deficiency, and that’s the problem.
Much of Western research focuses on deficiency because if you can make people yearn for things they don’t have, then you can make them believe something is wrong and sell them a ton of “fixes.”
You can start w/the myth of the nuclear family. Once you have that, then society is going to tell you that you need X income or kids won’t develop. Once you have that, they’ll tell you you need X religion/morals, or kids won’t develop. And it goes on and on and on...
If American society didn’t cater to the white, cishetero, Christian, nuclear family, then other family structures would have a better chance of flourishing. They don’t though because nothing in this country is designed to accommodate them. It’s not the structure; it’s the country
I am not radical enough (yet) to advocate for life w/o fathers, but I *will* advocate for caring adults and multi-generational family structures that spread responsibility across several. I don’t think fathers are essential or mothers either really. Empathetic &loving adults, yes
My mom married my (step)dad when I was 16, but for 16 years, I yearned for a present father. SIXTEEN YEARS of seeing nuclear families on tv, at church, in stores, etc. not knowing how much abuse, violence, and neglect was happening in those same families.

But I internalized lack
I internalized it because everyone would say, “I can’t believe your father is a deadbeat. I know you’ll do well IN SPITE of that.” So I learned that maybe I wasn’t supposed to do well, and it made me want to do even more.

I had an amazing village, but ppl made me think I lacked.
I could’ve avoided all the heartache it would take me years to heal if I had been around ppl who affirmed the beautiful family structure I *did* have, and looking back, the love and support were never deficient. I had a multitude of adults looking out for me.
So, if a nuclear family is what you want, cool. Have that without shitting on other family structures that also produce great adults. Heterosexual, two-parent homes are not the golden ticket, and you’d do well to unlearn the bullshit. 🙂❤️
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