Can I just say - yes, lets cancel cheaters and toxic men. Lets start. Because the everlasting damage a man can do surpasses “just cheating” or “just manipulation.” It isn’t “your personal business.” It’s a cycle that has been made common and somehow been made ok. Almost NORMAL.

I spent 5 years with a man who thought if he cheated on me with a man - it wasn’t cheating. Then I spent months flying to florida every other weekend to be with a man who told me I was crazy any time I questioned him about anything. One time I found earrings in his bed. When I

asked him where they were from, he said they were old and had been in his drawer forever and he found them when he was cleaning and “HOW DARE I QUESTION HIM. ITS OFFENSIVE THAT I WOULD INSULT HIS CHARACTER.” Turns out they belonged to one of over 9 girls he cheated on me with.

And not only that, but he had me fly out for a work party only to tell me he was no longer able to bring a plus one. So I waited in his bed while he BROUGHT ANOTHER GIRL, went home with her, and left me alone until 4am when be finally showed up with a sob story about how his boss

got pulled over driving drunk and he had to pick everyone up and drive them home because APPARENTLY people in florida are too good for Ubers? And when I finally caught him lying, he grabbed my wrist and screamed in my face until I cried and called everyone I knew asking for help.

I finally try to get past that trauma and the last 6 months end up with one of the most emotionally abusive men I’ve ever met. Just about the only thing he didn’t do is cheat. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t threaten to bring other girls around if I wasn’t “being fun.”

Because “you’re supposed to be fun, Jessica. You used to be fun.” As he drinks 7 vodka cranberries and proceeds to tell me how I’m “killing his vibe” on the 2 year anniversary of my friend’s passing. After months of helping him through a divorce, heroin addiction, and financially

supporting him during 3 months of the pandemic. So sorry if I’m “not fun” today. And using threats of cheating if I didn’t give in to his ridiculous impulsive ideas when I have big girl things to do in order to manipulate me... I can’t even get over it. And this is after months

of name calling, calling me fat, saying I‘m boring because I don’t do drugs, calling me a loser & picking on how much money I make all while having me drive him around & buy him food because he didn’t have a car and was too strung out on heroin to go to work. But I’m the problem.

He threatened to leak inappropriate photos of me, steal my dog, and he put his hands on me and told me he would kill me or hurt me multiple times. And every time I tried to leave I felt trapped. I was completely trapped until I got the dog in my name. And he used her against me.

So if being “canceled” for cheating or being a terrible boyfriend is becoming a thing, I support it honestly. Because it’s hardly ever “just cheating” or “ just a bad relationship.” There is usually some sort of ABUSE going on. At least from my experiences. And if we’re canceling

musicians, lets also cancel tattooers. And businessmen. Lets just cancel all toxic men in 2020. And quit allowing this to be normal behavior. Lets stop allowing them to get away with this. Because honestly, I’m really struggling to move forward from the years of trauma.

Not to mention the years of torment I dealt with after an assault during my time in the music industry. And nobody listened to me. And “It’s fuzzy, Jessica. You had been flirting beforehand and you need to see how he could’ve been confused by your behavior. He has a promising

career. And you’re going to derail that.” Which is funny because almost 10 years later they’ve done NOTHING of value. And apparently no doesn’t mean no when you were flirting beforehand. As a woman, you’re NOT allowed to change your mind once you get to know somebody. And sexual

coercion isn’t seen as an issue because “you shouldn’t have put yourself in that position.” So here’s my 4AM rant. Being a woman sucks. Nobody listens to us. So some of us stop speaking up. And some of us just leave everything behind and suffer in silence. And that’s the reality.