I'm slowly realizing that even though I've had a rough past with people, it doesn't dictate who I am now. Though, I also acknowledge that the pain I felt from my past may never go away, at least not without help. Things hurt and sometimes they bog you down. (cont.)

Sometimes they bog you down more than you want them to. Sometimes the memories immobilize you. Sometimes even certain sounds bring back terror. It's valid. Trauma takes no prisoners. I have to learn that. I have to learn to be nicer to myself. (cont.)

I have to learn that my trauma is just as valid as everyone else's. I have to learn that maybe I'm not as annoying as I think I am. I have to learn that what happened to me was unfair and that it wasn't my fault. I have to learn to stop taking blame. (cont.)

Most importantly, I have try and grow from the pain and understand it's not an overnight thing. That it takes time. That my own healing takes time. I've never allowed myself to truly heal. Now's the time. If you're reading this, and you notice I'm struggling, send me this thread.

If you notice I'm beating up on myself, send me this thread. If you notice I'm aggravated with a situation, send me this thread. If you notice I'm scared, send. Me. This. Thread. I've been scared about asking for money, tell me straight up to not back down and keep going.

Because at this point, I'm regressing to a point in time where I was at my worst and pushing everyone away. Don't let me do that. I need help and there's no other way for me to get it other than to ask and keep asking.

tl;dr I need to be kinder to myself and call for help more.