Dear PM @narendramodi,

Give a Bharat Ratna to our NSA.

I’m not joking. Hear me out please.

Who NSA you ask?

Believe me sir. You have one. Mr Ajit Doval.

You make use of him like a bt constable. But he is actually National Security Advisor. 1/n
What is NSA?

Well, wiki says, “NSA is tasked with advising the PM on all matters relating to internal & external threats and opportunities to India... The NSA receives all intelligence reports and co-ordinates them to present before the Prime Minister.“ 2/n
And what is national security?

Well, national security is not just territorial security, but includes non-military dimensions, including security from terrorism, economic threats, energy threats, environmental threats, resource threats, cyber threats, pandemic threats etc. 3/n
We know that our NSA has excelled in each of his responsibility. Let's take a look one by one.

1. On territorial security: NSA receives intelligence from RAW, IB, NTRO, MI, DIA etc. and is supposed to provide his assessment of any external aggression threat to you. 4/n
See, by not assessing correctly, or by not briefing you on the same, he ensured security of our territory by giving it to that country (To be called Timbuktu from hereon).

He must have calculated that our territory is safe and secure in their hands. Bravo! Bravo! 6/n
Then your wise lordship made him the special representative for talks with Timbuktu, bypassing that overly bureaucratic EAM.

And in just 2 hours he ensured that Timbuktu withdraws from territories they never occupied. Or at least we were made to believe so. 7/n
So what if it took us 18 days to realise that Timbuktu has not really withdrawn.

Territory and all are Maya anyway. That feeling of withdrawal. You know that is more important.

A couple of Bharat Ratna can be given for just this alone. 8/n
But it would be a disservice to not mention other services of the NSA during this period.

2. National security includes security from pandemic or threats from infectious disease threats. So says national security strategy documents of most countries. 9/n
The U.S. National Security Strategy explicitly recognized infectious diseases as a potential danger to the nation’s security back in the year you don’t want me to mention.

Well, were your wise lordship briefed on the impending threats from Covid-19 in time by the NSA? 10/n
If yes, then your wise lordship may give a Bharat Ratna to yourself. If no, then give Bharat Ratna to NSA. At once!

On March 17th, your wise lordship’s govt was telling the parliament that India stands to gain from Covid-19. Your troll of state for finance announced. 11/n
Well, dear PM @narendramodi, you do not have a cabinet of ministers. Rather, you have a cabinet of trolls. So there is a cabinet troll for finance, a cabinet troll for IT... Then you have trolls of state to ably assist your cabinet trolls.

You guys are one troll of a Govt. 12/n
WHO had warned in January itself and we registered our first case also in January.

Your wise lordship may not be aware, but the NSA was supposed to brief you on this as well. Why to bother you with trivial things, NSA must have assessed. 13/n
Do you remember Tablighi Jamaat, ah.. you must. You tried to put all the blame on them.

Your wise lordship’s not so wise troll for home asked our NSA to deal with the gathering. 14/n
And deal he did.

Despite knowing that the members of the gathering have come from many different countries, our NSA did not ask them to get tested before evacuating.

Instead, like an obedient Constable, he asked them to disperse at once. And disperse they did. 15/n
For this great foresight, he should be given Bharat Ratnas worth his weight.

No?

May be your wise lordship’s weight then?

No?

No.. not my weight. I am like 90+. Too much. Need to work out.

Come on @narendramodi, don’t divert now. My weight is not national security issue 16/n
3. Economic Security: Well, thanks to excellent response to covid-19, our economy is safe and secure. RBI says, we are going to see negative growth in two consecutive quarters now. Yay!

Crores of unemployed youth, we can recruit slightly older youth with lesser wage? Well played
Only around 2 crore salaried Indians lost their job. I mean if one can't see that as a positive, then they should check their eyes checked for colour blindness. 18/n
4. Terrorism.

Uri-Army base
Pathankot-Airbase
Pulwama-CRPF convoy, all attacked by terrorists and our soldiers killed when they were least expecting an attack. 19/n
What is the role of the NSA again?

To coordinate, collate and analyse intelligence inputs and to suggest defensive and offensive preventive actions to you your wise lordship.

Did he do his job your wise lordship? Or it was soldier's fault? 20/n
It is not to belittle the commitment and achievements he has had in his illustrious career.

But his achievements as an NSA has to be measured against his responsibilities as an NSA.

Not based on the thrilling spy work he did years back. 21/n
Dry branches of big trees can damage your home and even cause death, no matter however fruit bearing that branch once was.

So dear PM @narendramodi, give our NSA a Bharat Ratna for all that he has done for the country.

And then give him that golden handshake and be done with.
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