Psychologist Richard Wiseman conducted a study to test this question:

What’s a better method to create a connection with a stranger - mirroring or positive reinforcement?

Here’s what happened

1) Wiseman used 2 groups of waiters in his study.

One group would use mirroring.

The other group would use positive reinforcement.

2) The waiters who used positive reinforcement were generous with praise and encouragement when taking orders while putting an emphasis on positive language.

3) The waiters who used mirroring did one simple thing...

They repeated the customers’ orders back to them.

4) The results were staggering.

Waiters who used mirroring received 70% higher tips than waiters who used positive reinforcement.

5) What does this tell us?

Human beings fear the other. We avoid the unfamiliar. The different.

Familiarity is comfortable to us, and we are drawn to what makes us comfortable.

6) Mirroring allows us to facilitate connection.

Learning when and how to use mirroring can help brush away unfamiliarity and replace it with comfort.

7) If you want to make more sales, become a better negotiator, or just develop better relationships, become a master of mirroring.