A (perhaps) long thread on cuckolding

Last night @BabyBlueBilly and I ended up having a very real conversation about cuckolding. I've been thinking and talking a lot about my interest in the cuckoldress/vixen/hotwife lifestyle lately. (1/17)

I've never really thought of myself as a cuckoldress, despite my sex work in the past. I always thought of that as for lack of a better term, "work". Separate from my home and personal life. I certainly enjoyed doing it most of the time, but it was a mans to an end. (2/17)

We've played together before with other partners. At one time we jointly served a Dom. And we've tried "active cuckolding" where I intentionally sought out someone to fuck in front of him, but it didn't end up being a great experience. (3/17)

So, last night, we're talking about it, and he comes out with "let me just say this. You've been cuckolding me for a long time. I've been your loving cuckold for a long time. And I've never fully understood why you deny that." (4/17)

He continued "I know that it was work. It was what you had to do. And I totally respect that. But, I also think part of that power over me. You enjoyed controlling me and denying me, while others had access. You enjoyed that power dynamic." (5/17)

"You enjoyed being showered with money and gifts. I think you love wearing a $1600 dress in front of me that he bought for you and that I could never buy you. You enjoy wearing his favourite scent, or the fact every day I see that painting in out living room he bought." (6/17)

He went on to say how he equally loved that. He loves that power I have. He agreed that we have a great love life, but it's always been "he's there for me to use whenever I need him." (7/17)

Needless to say, I was taken aback by his blunt openness about this. I told him I know that everything he said is accurate. Whether I was actively using that power or even flaunting it in front of him consciously, I can see that is what I was doing. (8/7)

I thought about it, and I told him I believe the reason why I have so much trouble admitting cuckolding is that I hate the negative connotation so many still have with it. He is my best friend. I am so in love with him. Which is no easy feat, because (9/17)

I generally do not develop feelings for men. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate cock and a good hard fuck, but outside of sex I've generally not been very interested in men. I have a deep distrust that goes way back to my developmental years. (10/17)

So when I say I am in love with him, that's a really huge thing. I want to be a good wife. I really do. And I feel the second I say hotwife or cuckolding, so many people get this image in their head of a version of me that is mean and hurtful and loves humiliating. (11/17)

I think many would think and say I don't love him. That I am using him. That he's just a sub slave who takes care of my house and my business and is just their for my own selfish adoration Someone who never fucks her husband, and makes him watch her with others. (12/17)

And I should be at a point in my life where I don't give a shit what others think, but the fact is I do. And it bothers me people would see a loveless marriage. (13/17)

Anyway, he in turn responded that he thinks that is exactly why we should be honest about our dynamic, that we can be the model to show others "hey, cuckolding is a legitimate kink. Compersion is a real thing. It's not about being mean or disrespectful of the other." (14/17)

That a Vixen and stag are not only capable of respecting each other, but have a deep love for each other and connection with each other, and have ain incredible sex life with each other. (15/17)

I don't know how to wrap up this thread. It was a great open and honest conversation. He opened my eyes to things I didn't realize he saw or felt. And it was a great conversation that came up out of nowhere, just a wife and husband talking before sleep. (16/17)

I love that boy. Yesterday I had a Curious Cat question about what i wish I was better at. I said not feeling guilty so much. Something I really need to work on. But at least this conversation was a good spring board to getting there. (17-End)