cuckolding a man is psychologically equivalent to raping a woman. man's sexual power lies in ability to seduce/possess a woman whereas woman's sexual power is ability to exclude/leverage a man. asymmetry btwn the acts is less important than their assault on sexual power as such

until recently, sexual morality reflected this fact. only since the advent of consent-based liberalism are we forced to pretend that, for instance, a woman can meaningfully "rape" an adult man. conversely, we are also supposed to condemn male and female infidelity equally

everyone understands that a man raping a woman is a far worse crime than a woman raping a man - the latter is barely even a coherent idea. but because sexual essentialism is philosophically foreclosed, society is forced to locate moral significance only in the acts themselves

this is also why male cuckold fetishism and female rape fetishism are so popular relative to male rape fetishism and female cuckold fetishism. the "fetish" is not about a set of particular facts that apply irrespective of gender, but about the humiliation of "losing sexual power"

It should be fairly trivial to demonstrate this point with a poll, about which everyone will have strong intuitions ahead of time.

Men, would you rather be cheated on by a woman, or raped by a woman?

Women, would you rather be cheated on by a man, or raped by a man?