its almost 11 and i have classes tomorrow but i just need to let this out.

i think its very selfish, both for me and my parents, that i get some scholarship for college

bc personally, i know deep in my heart that i want to continue being a scholar till college bc i will not have the guilt & responsibility to “pay them back”

and a bc for my parents bc yes i can help my family financially but hey, i know that we have the ability to pay + putting pressure on me to pass a scholarship to keep up with a “lifestyle” i setted for myself is a lil toxic

lastly, here’s one of my realizations this pandemic:
if education is must, then why is n% unable to have it?

i really think that our selfish reasons on being a “scholar” must stop and let the n% be THE scholars bc they deserve it !! + its a stepping stone in a capitalist world