Read on Twitter
You know what. I'm gonna call them out. I don't particularly care anymore. Their name is Zoe Chien. They're a '15-year-old girl' from Germany and they groomed me in 2018.
(Please, don't read further if you're triggered by anything sexual or triggered by grooming itself.)
(Please, don't read further if you're triggered by anything sexual or triggered by grooming itself.)
In 2018, I was an rp account on Instagram and went by the username american_idiot_127, and went by the name 'Neru Sasaki'. In February 2018, I met Zoe through a rp. She said she wished to rp with me and had randomly followed me and dmed me. I thought it was most likely she..
..found my account through the recommended page. At this point, I'm not sure. Anyway, we rped together for a while, then I began to develop feelings for her, as she seemed rather charismatic and honestly rather charming. Plus, at the time, I was still experimenting with my..
..sexuality and for a while I thought I was pansexual, so I asked her out, in which she said yes to. This is where it goes downhill. I broke up with her many times because I didn't feel a connection between us and I was starting to think I could actually be gay. Seconds after..
..I announced that to her, she said she was coming out to me as a trans man and named herself after her favourite character who she OBSESSED over from the series we were rping. Her alias when she was starting to groom me was Arthur Kirkland. I immediately took the bait as I did..
..think she was rather masculine and surely this would be true. It wasn't because I found out recently she was lying about being trans just to groom me and is now, once again, going by Zoe Chien. During this relationship it was rather calm at first. We flirted a little..
..and sometimes made sexual jokes but that was it. Then she started to get way more sexual and I was brainwashed into following this. By around May 2018, it was a rather sexual relationship. We'd regularly talk about having sex with each other one day, rp nsfw a lot, etc..
..and there was this one time she asked if I wanted her nudes. I didn't want to see them at all, but she sent them anyway. I don't have any possession of those nudes btw because I knew that possessing or even viewing them was illegal. At this point in the relationship, we had..
..literally every contact detail. Emails, whatsapp, instagram, twitter and, the most dangerous of all, our addresses (I moved since then, so she has my old address atm). She asked me at one point if I wanted her to send a gift for my birthday. As I was technically brainwashed..
..into this lovesick state, I said yes, not thinking of the consequences. She said she had ordered a custom-made ring for us and she would be sending the ring over to my address soon. There was this one time in the relationship where I got a little worried about the info she..
..knew about me so I asked her to tell me the most secretive things she knows. She replied back saying a few normal things which I already told her, but then replied with, "I know about you and your gran." My stupid, lovesick self didn't think anything of that at the time..
..though. Around June 2018, our relationship went downhill and we broke up. We used to run a rp account together called usuk.libertea and when we had this break-up, she locked me out of this account, changing the password and refusing to let me back in. Eventually, the feud was..
..put to a stop, we forgave each other and began dating again, though from what I remember I was still locked out of the mentioned account and she got someone else to take over my place on that account. At this point, all of my irl friends knew about Zoe and me and honestly..
..they didn't like the idea of us being together but didn't say anything as they didn't want to hurt my feelings. Anyway, on 4th September 2018, my first day in year 9, I was emailing Zoe while having my lunch and complained to her in emails that it was too hot. This part I..
..still remember clear as day. She told me, "strip for me then ;)". I replied with, "of course". My friend who was sat next to me, who we'll call AJ just to protect her identity, instantly knew this was getting out of hand and told me she was going to report me to the..
..safeguarding team at school so they could look into this for me. I then awkwardly laughed this off and changed my response to, "no thank you". She said to me that the changed response doesn't matter because my instinct was to say yes, and that there's clearly something wrong..
..there, which is something I now see. I remember audibly swearing and screaming at AJ through tears as the safeguarding team came to collect me and take them somewhere safe as I waited for interrogation. During this time, they could clearly see I was visibly disturbed as I..
..was trembling intensely and barely moved an inch. I was scared stiff, I guess. After what was probably about 1 hour of waiting, they called me into their office, which I prefer to call the interrogation room and also where all my trauma began. They began asking me who Zoe..
..was, how we knew each other, etc. I was somewhat refusing to answer as I was so disturbed, however they didn't bother to notice that and continued to interrogate me as if I was a maximum-security criminal or smth, despite knowing I was the victim here and was clearly groomed..
..but anyway, they asked me to show them my dms and interactions with Zoe or they would confiscate it, look through the dms themselves, maybe interrogate Zoe too, etc. I handed my phone to them, though they still looked through dms and while my phone was confiscated, they..
..deleted all contacts from my phone, even ones who had nothing to do with me and Zoe, like one of my exes for example who is currently a rather close friend of mine. They then called my mum despite my desperate, tear-filled pleas not to as she would beat my ass, and told her..
..all the info they had managed to gather from me. She then came to collect me from school and I wasn't beat by her, but she did verbally abuse me and call me stupid, idiotic, etc for letting that happen to me, even though I was groomed and she knew that. 1 day later..
..on 5th September 2018, the police visited my house after school and interrogated me too, even when they knew that there was a high possibility I was traumatised (which I was. I've said it many times before and I'll say it again. ACAB). They interrogated me maybe a little less..
..harsh than the safeguarding team at school, but I asked about 9 times for them to let my mum go into a separate room and just let the interrogation be private and confidential just between me and the police officer. He refused and said that he couldn't, "because I could..
..become violent and start attacking him". So anyway, I had to sit there, absolutely terrified out of my mind while the police officer went through details about what happened and confirming it with me. Then this is what I remember most. The police officer said to me that..
..he'd make sure Zoe would be arrested no matter what and that I'd recieve justice. It's been nearly 2 years since then. There's been no justice for me at all. Zoe is still a free woman. She's still active on her instagram account. I'm still left with the trauma she put me..
..through. After the two interrogations, I went to therapy as my anxiety had shot through the roof after that. I also mentioned to them that I think I could have PTSD because of what happened. My therapist simply just gave me an online safety booklet and said that I don't have..
..PTSD otherwise I'd be violent and having flashbacks all the time. The actions of that therapist triggered a mental breakdown in me and I was honestly about to kill myself, but I remembered a promise I made to a friend in 2016, which was to never let go until my body says so..
..which is why I'm still here. Around November 2018, Zoe messaged me on Twitter, threatening me for breaking up with her, though I said it was for my own good. She then said she would head to my location, which, as I previously said, she knew, and kill me. I nearly killed..
..myself again right at that moment, but I still held on. I told my mum about the message she sent and I was once again verbally abused by her. Since then, I have no form of communication with Zoe anymore. I deleted and blocked her number, deleted my old email, moved houses..
..deleted my old twitter and instagram account and took up a new name. Dean. Unlike some people who are still going through this experience just like mine, I survived. My heart goes out to every single victim, and I hope that one day our voices are listened to and not ignored.
