finished my psychologist appt. i was 20 mins late today despite taking an uber. technically the ride should be 20 mins and i’ll be on time so idk why i was that late lol. anyway she said admission to the ward is very likely. she mentioned it a couple of times. anyway, she asked

me to head upstairs to go see the stand-in psychiatrist now. appt is about 4pm but it’s now 4:20pm and im well aware that my psychologist said it’s okay bc he will still see me even if it’s at 4:30pm so yah, im not late. she did tell me he will read her notes so idek what’s going

to happen or if he’s going to admit me. psychologist said it’s very likely, but i think it’s up to the psychiatrist to decide. oh and i finally gave her the gift phew :) showed her my reddit post on the throwaway account.

and it’s the first time she got up to get me tissues. and... twice. i didn’t realised how much i cried even tho i didn’t think i feel that sad. she did say i’m v v stressed tho.

update: ended the consult. he mentioned inpatient thrice. i refused. i will see him in a little over a week. it’s as though he didn’t read my therapist note. he did asked me to step outside of the room during mid-consult so he can call my psychologist tho. refused meds bc he’s

more bullshit than Dr A. i didn’t get to tell him the list i’m struggling with (i wrote it on paper), and my psychologist wanted to go thru all of it with me but we ran out of time bc i arrived late to our session so there’s that. well.... i’ll see this stand-in Dr T next wk then

update: he’s more friendly that’s for sure. i was seared outside journaling (on this thread) when he came out for water and he said “see u next week olivia” and then asked me where i stay and how i’m going home. uhhh,, he’s friendly yeah. friendly enough to tell me before

consult to give him 5 mins bc he going to the bathroom. at least he’s not a blank canvas like Dr A. but he kept asking me what he can help me with and why i’m at this appt and honestly??????? i’m only at this appt bc my psychologist requested for it. eh.

Dr T said he spoke to Dr A and he will taking care of my care until he’s back. if i remb it correctly, my psychologist rang Dr A and then she or Dr A came up with an arrangement to let me see Dr T in the meantime. at least Dr T remb the april incident as well as CoUsiN

update; went back to my psychologist office. she’s still in there. she said she’s making a special arrangement to see me next week. asked her what Dr T and her spoke about about basically it’s about IP. and since i’m not keen, my psychologist said

they just have to monitor me closely and see me more often. oh and Dr T asked about my weight. i told the dietitian jeremy not to update it ytd... and Dr T was going to make me step outside and weigh lol. thank fuck i had a pic of my weight ytd... and today. 1kg diff from ytd.

i just want to lose drastically.
anyway so my psychologist said she’ll ring me tmr,, she can’t be sure of it yet (today) bc it’s a special arrangement and i feel bad bc she had to do these for me,, i feel like such a hassle. so yah, she said just to wait for the phone call tmr.