This is an interesting idea, I've never thought about it in these terms. I want to talk a little bit about my perception of this issue. / https://twitter.com/GeniesLoki/status/1298198816001331200

A fairly core tenet in mainstream social justice ideology is that men are harmed by patriarchy just like women are, although in different ways, and possibly to a lesser extent. /

One of the ways that this harm manifests itself is through society discouraging men from expressing their emotions. /

I agree with this view, I think society does in fact punish men disproportionately for expressing their emotions, and this is a product of the same set of traditional gender norms that also affects women. /

I also think that this suppression can often lead to men experiencing more emotional pain and psychological harm, or at least not reaching out when they need help. On the whole, it's unhealthy. /

This tenet gives rise to a belief in SJ spaces that men suppressing their emotions is generally a bad thing. /

However, when you call something emotional labour, it carries a connotation that the labour is beneficial to the unknowing beneficiary. /

In order to call men suppressing their emotion "labour", you implicitly propose that it is in some way desirable that they do so. /

So I think that calling it labour kind of runs counter to the prevailing SJ narrative that men displaying emotion is always and everywhere a good thing. /

But I actually think @GeniesLoki is right, it is a form of emotional labour, in that actually if men did express their emotions more in certain contexts, many advocates of greater emotional openness would find that they don't actually like it very much. /

When people advocate for greater emotional expressiveness, imo they often have a very idealized idea of emotional expression in mind. They expect it to be poetic, and cathartic, and articulate, and beautiful. /

Everyone loves manly tears, especially when they're coming from a manly dude.

The problem is that this unfortunately often just isn't what the real world looks like. Emotions can be ugly or misguided. They're messy, and they don't make sense. /

Additionally, I think many people do in fact find true weakness in men contemptible, although they may be unwilling to recognize that fact. /

So I think in many cases when men do express their emotions in real life, they're punished for it even by proponents of greater emotional expressiveness, partially because those proponents don't even notice what's going on. /

They don't pattern match the ugly, messy real world nature of the situation to the poetic ideal in their minds.

I think SJ ideology needs to grapple harder with whether this kind of messy greater expressiveness is really worth it, and either bite the bullet or don't. /

I personally think it's worth it. If they do, they need to be more consistent in their application of the principle, rather than just treating men poorly for expressing emotions that don't fit their preconceived ideas of emotional expression.