———Behold the prophecy———

First came the shallow madmen, in all their shame and ineptitude, their deceptions and dangerous buffoonery. They promoted and denied while America burned.
Truly it was a dark time, of disgust and sound bytes, of accusations and eyerolling.

(a thread)

After the dark times of increasingly shallow and insane men, we are saved by a brilliant woman.

Mari kondo the utilitarian socialist. She helps us find a life that sparks joy.

Her presidency will herald a renewed era of pride in our country, prompting us to rest peacefully.

We are again happy to be patriots, and we will elect a literal waving flag after her. The flag doesn’t do much except flap and look cool. We retain the kondo status quo.

Following our big flappable president is the frigid Siri, her presidency meant to educate and connect us all.

Siri is an emotionless, robotic president. after a brief and uncomfortably capitalist presidency wherein our information is sold at an alarming rate she will finally be replaced by the one true heir to the world hegemony.

President Siri is replaced by Detective fucking pikachu.

president detective pikachu will electrify the nation and find solutions to our problems making us all smile. we will be sold his platform on a seditious tactic of nostalgia and fear of the return of the shallow madmen, but:

“What happens next will shock you.”

So it is written.

/end thread or whatever idk how this shit works I’m not good at tweets, just prophecies.