i think i have to talk about this because im losing my fucking mind. I have been living with my sister and her bf for a little under a year. They moved in October I came back from Korea in November so they have like 3 weeks on me. Anyway ...my god... i didnt fucking realize how

much my middle sister filtered out the absolute fucking insanity that is my eldest sister. To give some background my sister asked me to move in with her and her bf because they needed help with the mortgage. Which like if that already sounds like a big fucking issue just wait

so they decided right before the giant shutdown that they were going to start construction on the house. And I don't mean light construction I mean that they destroyed every once of tile, bathroom, sink, kitchen anything they could find they destroyed it.

and were like "we're gonna fix it!" .... yeah we didnt have bathrooms in our house for days at a time, we didnt have a working kitchen for almost a month during the middle of quarantine. They finished the floor boards and whatever its kind of weird looking we have hardwood

wishbone floors and these GIANT cement fireplace and these weird dark POROUS!!!!!! countertops . its just a fuckin mess. It's not a cohesive house but what the fuck do i care right i just have to live here?

which brings us to exhibit A. ALL THEY FUCKING DO IS BICKER. /all they do is bicker/ constantly about fucking everything. He says A, she asks a legit question or a wondering about, He's disparaging, she gets upset, he gets upset that shes upset and its an ENDLESS CYCLE EVERY

FUCKING DAYY then when she's pissed, she takes it out on me. And I have never met a woman who is so determined to be the victim and doesnt even realize it. I can't even go into detail about the absolute insanity that it is living with her because it will be absolutely frustrating

she says "I dont want this to be like how we were when we were growing up" but then refuses to acknowledGE ANY FUCKING THING SHE DOES. I said I have the right to be upset by things you say and she says "I dont want to have to coddle your feelings" so youre just gonna be a bitch?

MY GOD and then on top of that she's a fucking mess right? she has unmedicated adhd except for the days where she needs a ~little boost~ and takes adderall which she thinks helps but makes her scatterbrained existence MORE hyper fixated. Its honestly hell because her boyfriend is

a spoiled little only child of an armenian family and my sister just coddles HIM and lets him be a fucking dick to her and to the fucking development project. HE LITERALLY is so unsatisfied with fucking everything - not a single part of the house is finished. I have a bathroom

door that wont close. I have a kitchen that I can barely use because of the porous!!!! countertops. But we're missing an island because they cant decide what theyre going to put on that counter top. They have a room on the top floor that they took the insulation out and now its

too hot for anyone to be there. So they have to turn on the air conditioning at night because it gets too hot. They literally had a couch delivered in May and in June he sent it back without a backup plan because he didnt like how "not straight" it was

so they are tWO GROWN ASS PEOPLE LAYING ON BEAN BAGS because it took them 2 weeks to decide what fucking couch they wanted to buy which then meant that they had to ship it from CHINA but GUESS WHAT WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC SO IT REACHED PORT THIS WEEK AND WILL BE ANOTHER

3 WEEKS BEFORE IT GETS TO US. BECAUSE THE COUCH WASNT STRAIGHT ENOUGH. I swear to fucking god, I understand that this is an impulse that some people just can't handle. It's a problem I understand that but I have never met someone who was so unbelievable fucking dickish about it

and refused to change. I'm like getting angrier as I type this but I have been in this fucking house for almost 10 months and I fucking want to rip my hair out every fucking day. My sister insults me constantly, she constantly comments on my weight, my body, anything she can find

she's INCREDIBLY inconsiderate. I usually don't eat breakfast till around 10/11 bc of work and so by the time i get downstairs the 3 PANS WE HAVE are - instead of handwashed are NOW in the fucking dishwasher so I can't even use them. And when I open the dishwasher she BITCHES

I AM AT MY WIT FUCKING END IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE. I'm losing MY MIND. She's so determined to NOT be toxic SHE'S THE TOXIC ONE. She literally told me "My mind and my positive thoughts is what got me here. What did yours get you?" BITCH A HOUSE YOU CANT AFFORD????????? A BOYFRIEND

WHO TREATS YOU LIKE HIS MOM BUT WITH LESS RESPECT???????? THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM????????? i was so pissed when she said that I slammed the door in her face.

FUCK MY LIFE - I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO IGNORE HER

she'll say with super "joking attitude "where the hell are you going?" and if i ignore her??? she gets pissed. If I say "why do you care??" she gets pissed. iM FUCKING LIVING WITH A PERSON WHO NEEDS HELP AND IM THE ONE SUFFERING

and for YEARS i never had to fucking deal with her stupid ass existence. Because she works morning and by the time I get home she's asleep but now we're in each others hair and i CANT GO ANYWHERE. You know I told her that I was doing a vocal workshop and she said "How many times

is this going to happen?" and I said "Uh why do you care?" and she goes "Because no one in this house wants to hear you sing." .......... like ????????? what the fuck is wrong with you and so i was rightfully pissed about it. and she was pissed I was pissed because I didnt want

to open that fucking pandoras box of absolute nonsense and she was like "you know the other day when you didnt talk to me for an hour. You ruined my night. I was so upset that whole time." ??????????????? gET OVER IT?????????? WE DONT GET ALONG??????????

god i know this is so mean to say about my sister but she's 35 and an absolute fucking mess. She's learned nothing but how to be selfish and its absolutely in fucking sane. The amount of inhuman rage in my body when I think about all the fucking things shes said.

FUCKKKKKK im going to delete this thread but i just needed to get this fucking thing off my chest. I'm losing my mind. We're in month fucking IDK 7?????????? i just need to exist away from her but im a natural social person and if the only person in your house is a fucking toxic

ass annoying human being, for some reason I can't get it through my own fucking head to STOP talking to her or to LEAVE her alone. and you might think bianca why dont you hang out with your middle sister? I DO but i can only hang out w her so much bc shes VERY much an introvert

so after a couple of hours she wants to be alone and doesnt have patience for anyhting that I have to say. so you might say wow bianca it looks like it sucks to be you!! yOU MIGHT BE RIGHT. I hate my job, I hate being HERE, I hate this fucking quarantine, I hate THAT im this old

and still fucking dealing with childish fucking things LIKE LET ME SEE MY SISTER ONCE EVER FEW WEEKS AND LIKE LET ME LIVE A GOOD LIFE. I'd rather LIVE ALONE then live with her and coming from an me the extrovert I think that says a lot.

anyway so brain bad days is when my depression hits even more and i cant get evil thoughts out of my head and then i end up in an endless cycle of hating everything and hating everyone so I just need to figure out HOW to not get back into that state of mind but its really hard.