Let’s play “Job Interview.” Ask me the questions you don’t know how to answer when you’re asked, and I’ll step through them. No, not the coding / technical questions; the “where do you see yourself in five years” variety. Hit me!
A question like this is looking for an anecdote, or for you to trip up. “I once forgot to put my cup in the dishwasher” or something equally banal, and let them clarify themselves. https://twitter.com/darryl_ramm/status/1298455423855386625
Compensation is always negotiated at the offer level. “Let’s figure out whether I’m a fit first; I’m confident we can come to an agreement on compensation if so.” https://twitter.com/tmclaughbos/status/1298455697550725120
Dress up a strength as a weakness. Alternately, go for the high score of “I’m unable to discern tabs from spaces on sight.” https://twitter.com/darryl_ramm/status/1298455710284439552
“The only really interesting technical problems are fundamentally people problems” can recast you in a flattering light. https://twitter.com/sergiodn_/status/1298455809626578944
My patience is limited for this one so I come prepared. “According to LinkedIn, four previous team members all left in their first year. I could ask you the same question.” https://twitter.com/zkat__/status/1298455556470927360
Too easy. “You want to maintain the status quo.” https://twitter.com/samcoren/status/1298456192117809157
If you can’t answer this honestly, let me help you: you don’t really want to work there at all. https://twitter.com/chriseyre2000/status/1298455724239003653
“If I’m more than 200 years or so in either direction, probably be completely in understandable and die of a period illness.” https://twitter.com/mauilion/status/1298456673791574017
The right answer here is always open and honest communication. https://twitter.com/priashachavan/status/1298456133531705345
“I wasn’t expecting a see otter; I’m more of a do otter myself.” https://twitter.com/optimism_otter/status/1298457122636627968
“The role and I both evolved in different directions. I’m excited for a new challenge!” Be overwhelmingly positive. https://twitter.com/billkindle/status/1298456788610637824
“A hot dog.” Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer. https://twitter.com/skillfulhacking/status/1298457433778659328
“If I wanted to Tell People I Was Right A Lot I’d be interviewing at Google instead.” https://twitter.com/mauerbac/status/1298457169424048129
“As an interviewer? Lack of context apparently.” https://twitter.com/zarchasmpgmr/status/1298457251229753345
This question is invariably about conflicting priorities. The answer is to gather the relevant stakeholders and talk it out until agreement was reached. https://twitter.com/randyholloway/status/1298457119755079681
Never name a company or a person. Speak in the abstract about a management style you legit have trouble with. It’s fair warning to them. https://twitter.com/the_endangered/status/1298456947667005440
“I don’t” is the wrong answer. There are many right answers. I suggest referencing @LastWeekinAWS. https://twitter.com/optimism_otter/status/1298456843274993671
“Generally engineering is more about knowing how to think through problems rather than familiarity with a particular stack. In the past I learned other stacks to achieve X in Y time.” They already know your technical background from your resume. They agreed to interview you. https://twitter.com/shakarnwal/status/1298456806050525189
“I took some time off to mourn my stock portfolio.” https://twitter.com/lahenrza/status/1298456280411983875
Something aligned with the role. “Car mechanic” for engineering is solid. “Artist” is chancier. “Unabomber” is right out. https://twitter.com/micheletitolo/status/1298458215248588800
“You can generally tell the success of a project by how many people claimed credit for it on LinkedIn. Scapegoats are a fact of corporate life. The whole story is seldom public.” https://twitter.com/abewinter2/status/1298458934274150400
Legit stories about prod outages are fair game here. Blameless and accepting responsibility to hand in hand. https://twitter.com/anumsmalik/status/1298459323199176704
“I have a family I spend time with instead” is mine because I have the privilege to send a message. https://twitter.com/sam__v__n/status/1298459423145259008
“You’d really have to ask them. Nobody knows their own reputation.” https://twitter.com/lowenthal_jason/status/1298459461640757249
“A custom one you certainly don’t have in your Slack team. Hire me and I’ll add it to yours.” https://twitter.com/hanseldsouza/status/1298460946487300096
“I’m a pretty persuasive speaker. If they’re still not on board it’s possible my idea isn’t as compelling as I thought, so I’d start by critically evaluating it.” https://twitter.com/yassinm_tw/status/1298461261328416772
“In this hypothetical has Google deprecated Search yet?” https://twitter.com/voteblake/status/1298461412327591936
Whatever you do don’t forget the human element. It’s not just about code.

“They fired Steve” is the wrong direction though. https://twitter.com/taylorreecesd/status/1298461923441352706
“I don’t want a career of the same year repeated thirty times. I want a new challenge.” https://twitter.com/gigatexal/status/1298463583664300032
"If it's a truly important slide deck I pony up a consulting fee for @IsForAt to assist." https://twitter.com/jonmasters/status/1298464483820568576
"Let's figure out whether this is a mutual fit first. If so, I'm sure we can come to an agreement."

See also @JoshDoody's treatise on this: https://fearlesssalarynegotiation.com/salary-expectations-interview-question/ https://twitter.com/pythonpythoff/status/1298464005460090880
I've changed it up to be honest.

In my case it's probably "I grow restless when too many days begin to look like the one before." https://twitter.com/boyter/status/1298463180146872320
"As a manager, I build a team whose technical judgement I trust. My job isn't to overrule their technical decisions, but rather to provide them with context and then empower them to do their best work." https://twitter.com/pzb/status/1298462710313541632
Ideally you actually are. It's poor form to say "I'm more interested in not starving to death" so flatter them. Read the company's 'About Us' page and parrot back their talking points if needed. https://twitter.com/benhemphill/status/1298462279646806016
"When I was five years old I went to a petting zoo. I loved the lambs and the chickens, but I fell in love with the goats. I wanted to be a goat when I grew up, in fact. Now that I'm an adult I know that's impossible; the closest I can strive to become is a scapegoat instead." https://twitter.com/geoffbelknap/status/1298465381888061441
"I joined with clear success and failure metrics in mind. When I hit X months it was clear that I wouldn't find the success I was after there, so it was time to move on." https://twitter.com/sarahmaeve1/status/1298464896976211970
"Sometimes if I really want a job I'll bribe a member of the hiring committee."

(Don't do this; people keep asking about this one so I keep escalating.) https://twitter.com/fernanlf/status/1298465818561384449
"Before I answer that, let's be very direct here: in many cases corporate values are simply words on a website that nobody reads. How does your company live by its stated values?" https://twitter.com/supermathie/status/1298466401309646848
"It's a near certainty that I use it incorrectly. Unfortunately, there is no trusted manual." https://twitter.com/unruly_tuples/status/1298466639579471873
"If I went in maliciously, with evil intent, I couldn't take down http://Google.com  for one solid hour. If I can't do that much *BAD* if I intentionally tried to do so, how much good / impact do I really have? It's time for something where my scope is broader." https://twitter.com/justintstanley/status/1298467180304949250
Lots of right answers here. "I would give up" and "I would sit and spin my weeks without asking for help" are the only clear wrong ones.

Remember: you're on a team, not an Army of One. https://twitter.com/gaurdro/status/1298467396555083776
This is a new one on me.

"You finally fired the jackhole I hated" may be honest, but unhelpful. https://twitter.com/yassinm_tw/status/1298467411671298049
"Are we talking once a year, or once a week? At some point it's not an emergency anymore, it's a shitty work/life balance. To me, that's (not okay | just fine, provided you pay commensurately)." https://twitter.com/spiceywasabi/status/1298467439320080385
In an @awscloud loop a couple of years ago I was asked something similar. I pointed out the @LastWeekinAWS newsletter as something that aligned. "I don't think that's particularly impressive" was the no-joke response.

I respectfully submit that I was proven right. https://twitter.com/edyesed/status/1298467595373355008
Ooh, this is fun. It usually comes after a bunch of problem statement stuff. Otherwise there's a lot of stuff to cover first.

I also like to turn it around: "How will you know I'm successful at those milestones?" https://twitter.com/wwb/status/1298467706996318208
"I'm going to be intentionally vague here, because you know where I've worked and I don't believe in airing dirty laundry." https://twitter.com/_s_hari/status/1298468027965607936
This is SUPER fraught. You can interpret it as "I've received no bias training, and am not very good at interviewing, so please handle me with kid gloves." https://twitter.com/mitchpommers/status/1298468975181930497
Yeah, go read https://fearlesssalarynegotiation.com/salary-expectations-interview-question/; it's way better. https://twitter.com/scellef/status/1298468991879401473
The right answer is ALWAYS "get both of them together to talk about the issue and find a way through."

"Well what if one is being unreasonable" can be met with "do you make a habit of hiring unreasonable people? That's concerning if so." https://twitter.com/phinp/status/1298469246742278146
"Nothing particularly relevant to the job. What's the work/life balance like?" https://twitter.com/nathangloveraus/status/1298469324936507392
"I'm in discussions with several companies; I'm more interested in finding the right fit rather than the first company to make an offer, but there is a timing issue if this is going to be a protracted process." https://twitter.com/yesoreyeram/status/1298469674741649408
"Usually I'm the one that has to bring that up--thanks! First, do you think they're right? Secondly, if so: bold of you to assume I'd care that much about work." <-- don't actually try that last part. https://twitter.com/indmgr/status/1298459791862333440
"Well, you're a Fortune 500 company, so all I have to say is that this pen was in the upper right of the Gartner Magic Pen-dant." https://twitter.com/chrisholland/status/1298459523611582464
"Why do you automatically assume that I was responsible for that enormous failure?"

If their answer is "YOU WERE THE F*CKING CISO!!!" then you may need to have a more polished answer ready to go. https://twitter.com/abewinter2/status/1298459256820203520
"...okay, nevermind. I won't charge my laptop, but your coding interview is going to end really quickly." https://twitter.com/killerswan/status/1298457675965988864
"I'm sorry, who?" Seriously. No good will come from you admitting you know me in the interview. https://twitter.com/dubrie/status/1298455943005405185
"To keep them from falling down the manhole. When you go back to return that question to 1998 be sure to warn them about 9/11." https://twitter.com/sleepysecninja/status/1298456086517702656
"My sense of humor is both simultaneously." It has the benefit of not just being pithy, but true. https://twitter.com/juniorcarbon/status/1298471883508244480
"I worked at AWS. The product strategy was a post-it note that said 'Yes' on it. It was flawless." https://twitter.com/jamesurquhart/status/1298459808425680897
"...I'm sorry, what the hell kind of banana republic department are you running here?! 'I don't like Taylor so I won't work with them' went out of fashion in second grade." https://twitter.com/_cyberchild/status/1298473020474834945
"On a path to do X. Fun story--I almost certainly won't be doing that, but it'll give me a direction to aim for." https://twitter.com/hpcprogrammer/status/1298473125051609088
This falls apart if you worked at a giant company. "I was a new grad, I didn't exactly get to tell @ajassy that his go to market strategy needed fine tuning."

They're looking to see that you can disagree with senior professionals diplomatically. https://twitter.com/softveda/status/1298473785796902913
"I read many times faster than most people. That's the superpower, but it's useless in isolation; it's what I use it for that adds value." <-- my honest answer https://twitter.com/maiab/status/1298473980202905600
"Knowing that you're considering me for a job? In absolutely glowing terms. They're my friends." https://twitter.com/amirakhterkazi/status/1298474006614597633
"Oh crap, did I send you @IanColdwater's resume by mistake?! But yes, exactly what part of it was unclear to you?" https://twitter.com/iancoldwater/status/1298474333568933889
"What, today, or...? Look, failure is a part of life. If you're not constantly failing, you're not growing. The trick is to fail forward and turn it into something great." https://twitter.com/softveda/status/1298474921337659392
"As the mongoose stalks through the rushes, so does the weasel in the departmental all-hands." https://twitter.com/mikechx/status/1298475127718346753
"Nope.

Would you like a second example?" https://twitter.com/softveda/status/1298475185712947200
Assuming a few things that don't apply to me:

"If the team is more than maybe three people, how on earth did you get this far, and how supported will I be in fixing that grievous error?" But again, I've never had to face this. Better answers welcome! https://twitter.com/jessica_schalz/status/1298475509358223361
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