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how the fuck did my brain decide that freshman year was the time to just give up entirely like i could actually be at a well paying job if I didn’t just like fuck every single professional thing up and acted like a real human
like I was an honor student in high school! Not the best but well! and I did well when I tried in school! But my brain literally won’t let me have anything good without corrupting it or completely destroying it
and now I’m a college dropout who never got a fucking internship anywhere and I’ve got barely any connections in film and I can’t be bothered to promote myself online bc I think I’m being too selfish
and I’ve fucking lost all ability to be a social human I can barely have a casual conversation with anyone anymore and I can’t really make friends and I think all the friends I do have secretly hate me but won’t say anything bc they think I’ll snap if they do
people from high school knew me as weird and that’s all I’m ever gonna be. another bozo on the bus
no im not gonna delete this thread
