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WRITING ADVICE THREAD: GEOGRAPHY
I've been reading some young writers the last week or so, and a pattern is emerging regarding SETTING THE SCENE.
The instinct is to establish the scene (HEADING) and then give a blurb on what we see.
1/16
I've been reading some young writers the last week or so, and a pattern is emerging regarding SETTING THE SCENE.
The instinct is to establish the scene (HEADING) and then give a blurb on what we see.
1/16
I'm seeing a lot of (this is an example I made up):
"Character enters the cafe. A hole in the wall type place. Diners eat at tables, a [female character] works behind the counter where a man sits eating his breakfast."
2/16
"Character enters the cafe. A hole in the wall type place. Diners eat at tables, a [female character] works behind the counter where a man sits eating his breakfast."
2/16
So what we have is a picture of the cafe, what I call a painting. "Here's the scene. Look at it."
The thing is, we're writing *movies*, which are called that because they *move*. So we need to see movement.
More importantly, we need to establish a POV.
3/16
The thing is, we're writing *movies*, which are called that because they *move*. So we need to see movement.
More importantly, we need to establish a POV.
3/16
So how do we make a static scene active?
Through POV. A screenplay needs a strong POV because it's how we integrate ourselves into this world. I'm not saying it's wrong to set up a scene like that. It is indeed what a character sees if they're standing at the entrance.
4/16
Through POV. A screenplay needs a strong POV because it's how we integrate ourselves into this world. I'm not saying it's wrong to set up a scene like that. It is indeed what a character sees if they're standing at the entrance.
4/16
But again, it's a *movie* we're writing. So let's take an active approach to establishing the scene (assuming we've established the general location in previous SCENE HEADINGS):
5/16
5/16
INT. CAFE - DAY
MC steps in to the sound of a bell chiming on the door.
A WAITRESS behind the counter stops her work.
WAITRESS
Hi. Welcome to our cafe. Have a seat anywhere.
(CONT'D)
6/16
MC steps in to the sound of a bell chiming on the door.
A WAITRESS behind the counter stops her work.
WAITRESS
Hi. Welcome to our cafe. Have a seat anywhere.
(CONT'D)
6/16
MC moves between mostly empty tables. Scattered diners pay more attention to their plates than they do him.
He sidles next to a DINER digging into his bacon and eggs at the counter.
MC
I'm new in town. What's good?
The diner's mouth full, he grunts.
(CONT'D)
7/16
He sidles next to a DINER digging into his bacon and eggs at the counter.
MC
I'm new in town. What's good?
The diner's mouth full, he grunts.
(CONT'D)
7/16
MC waves the waitress over.
MC
I'll have what he's having.
The waitress smiles.
WAITRESS
You sure you can handle it? It's enough to feed a small army.
She scribbles his order on a pad and slides it into the carousel between the dining room and kitchen,
END SCENE
8/16
MC
I'll have what he's having.
The waitress smiles.
WAITRESS
You sure you can handle it? It's enough to feed a small army.
She scribbles his order on a pad and slides it into the carousel between the dining room and kitchen,
END SCENE
8/16
I know this is crappy writing, but I just want to get the basics out.
Instead of "Here's a painting", we have "Here's what the MC sees as he's seeing it".
The character moves, therefore the scene moves.
9/16
Instead of "Here's a painting", we have "Here's what the MC sees as he's seeing it".
The character moves, therefore the scene moves.
9/16
"Action line" isn't just a name. It hints at a purpose: Things are HAPPENING.
What I've been seeing are static scenes that paint beautiful pictures instead of active scenes that tell a story.
The protagonist is our entry point. Use that POV to establish scenes.
10/16
What I've been seeing are static scenes that paint beautiful pictures instead of active scenes that tell a story.
The protagonist is our entry point. Use that POV to establish scenes.
10/16
BE THE CAMERA. Show us what the camera sees as the MC experiences it. This gives your script momentum and gives the reader a reason to turn the page.
Once you've established an active scene, you can jump around to different areas within the scene.
11/16
Once you've established an active scene, you can jump around to different areas within the scene.
11/16
INT. CAFE - DAY
MC eats his food.
AT A TABLE ANOTHER DINER coughs and heaves.
AT THE COUNTER the bacon and eggs diner snaps his head to see...
ANOTHER DINER wretch all over his plate.
MC gags and pushes his plate away,
END SCENE
12/16
MC eats his food.
AT A TABLE ANOTHER DINER coughs and heaves.
AT THE COUNTER the bacon and eggs diner snaps his head to see...
ANOTHER DINER wretch all over his plate.
MC gags and pushes his plate away,
END SCENE
12/16
Establish the scene through the MC's POV, then you can move around quickly and efficiently. This gives the impression of movement.
13/16
13/16
So don't be afraid to break up those paragraphs of description. Get creative in how you show us. Is the MC high? Does the room spin? Take us through the action, simple as it may be, from a concrete POV.
14/16
14/16
When you walk into W*lm*rt, you don't see the whole store at once. You see it section by section as you walk through.
Same thing with setting the scene in action lines. This is how we process information, so we have to mimic that on the page.
15/16
Same thing with setting the scene in action lines. This is how we process information, so we have to mimic that on the page.
15/16
The bottom line is, geography is so important, and how you show it matters to the reader. It can be the difference between eyes going down the page and a reader setting it down.
Give your script momentum. Let it move. That's how you engage readers. (YMMV)
EOT
Give your script momentum. Let it move. That's how you engage readers. (YMMV)
EOT
Addendum to clarify:
Use POV to establish a scene instead of using straight descriptions before action. This allows the reader to absorb the information as it's needed instead of infodumping them. They'll remember the geography more easily.
Use POV to establish a scene instead of using straight descriptions before action. This allows the reader to absorb the information as it's needed instead of infodumping them. They'll remember the geography more easily.
COUNTER POINT
This is a painting. I did this intentionally because the characters are at a resting state, and I wanted to give the reader a chance to breathe. Then I gave it motion: "He leans forward."
This is a painting. I did this intentionally because the characters are at a resting state, and I wanted to give the reader a chance to breathe. Then I gave it motion: "He leans forward."
To my point (I'm showing examples of how I apply this technique):
#LaGrange is a sequel feature, and this is the first time we see the cabaret. The MC is literally walking through the scene. Once we've established the entirety of the property, we can start the story.
#LaGrange is a sequel feature, and this is the first time we see the cabaret. The MC is literally walking through the scene. Once we've established the entirety of the property, we can start the story.
The setting is integral to the story. There are a lot of scenes taking place within La Grange, so I wanted to give a general sense of the space: Bar to the left, stage to the right.
Imagine describing this scene in paragraphs of action lines (reader's eyes roll).
Imagine describing this scene in paragraphs of action lines (reader's eyes roll).
It's about discovery. Kiska is our POV, and we're seeing this space for the first time just as she is.
Once we have the general sense, we get specific (in the crowd). You know there's stuff going on around the two as they interact. There's movement.
Once we have the general sense, we get specific (in the crowd). You know there's stuff going on around the two as they interact. There's movement.
This takes up 3-4 pages, but it saved me pages later in the script when we return to this setting. And with movement, it's not bulky and doesn't hold your eyes in one place for too long.
Kiska's simple walk through a bar tells us everything we need to know about the space.
Kiska's simple walk through a bar tells us everything we need to know about the space.
