How to Be A Black Swan Man (or Woman) in 6 Easy Steps
A Guide to Sophistry for the 21st Century

1) Bring up “fat tails” at every opportunity, as in “That’s not true if the data are fat-tailed”. You can raise this objection in almost any context. Don’t worry about relevance.

2) Find a foreign word or phrase to describe yourself. Since “Flaneur” is taken, pick something else, like “peripatetic.” This will make you seem smart and sophisticated.

3) Attack “straw men”. It’s often much easier to attack something your opponent isn’t saying than something she is. Just ignore any attempts at clarification on the other side.

4) If you find yourself losing the argument, ad hominem arguments and insults can be quite effective. “Idiot!” Is a favorite... Also, make sure to accuse your opponent of being a shill for Monsanto. It doesn’t matter what the topic is, or whether you have any evidence for this.

5) End every point you make with “Gabbish?” and make sure to say it as sneeringly and condescendingly as possible.

6) Pick up a little statistical jargon. It’s not necessary to read a stats text, just remember a few key terms and sprinkle them into the debate at random moments. The more arcane and technical sounding, the better.

Always remember that the goal is not to win with logic and evidence. It shows far more skill to win without logic or evidence. The key, then, is to disparage, confuse, frustrate and demoralize your opponent. Your ignorance can be your strength, if you are a real Black Swan Man.