Tw: OCD, self harm, fr everything luv just please don’t read if you’re seriously struggling with anything related to Mental health

Fuck it OCD awareness thread because idk I feel like a lot of people want to talk about it but are scared of being shut down (1)

OCD can manifest in issues with germs and cleanliness or orderliness, but that’s literally not all OCD is about. And being a clean freak doesn’t mean you have OCD. I’m untidy as hell but I have OCD and it can manifest in different ways for different people (2)

For me, my OCD manifests in obsessive thoughts and behaviours to combat it. Like I’ll literally be sitting somewhere watching something and I’ll just randomly think “what if I murdered my family rn :/“ and ill start biting my thumbs until blood comes out as some sort of (3)

Punishment because I hate imagining things like that that are harmful to people I love. I’ll also just obsess over random things like “what if I am a bigot” and then overreact and start asking myself useless questions with makes me feel like I am. (4)

There’s a lot more to this but it’s longgg and this isn’t about sharing my life story sooo.....let’s move on. I just want to say that self diagnosing is valid. Not everybody can get diagnosed for multiple reasons. If you research hard enough and you fit (5)

The criteria, then you can self diagnose. Butttt the problem comes from thinking that because you like pens in a certain order, or you like your room clean, then you have OCD. I don’t blame people for this, I blame social media mostly. (6)

Also, having OCD makes managing other mental illnesses SOOO much harder. Like I’ve managed to *attempt* to curb my ed but I’ll get random thoughts like “what if I never recover” or “weigh yourself twice a day or you’re not going to wake up tomorrow” (7)

Or like “what if you just passed away because you didn’t drink enough water”, and yes I know it’s irrational so no need to tell me, but I literally cannot help myself. It’s like two little demon voices battling with each other on which one is going to kill you first (8)

Soooo........it’s terrible when people trivialise it on social media because,,,,it’s like no I’m not quirky, I am suffering. The trivialisation also means that people think I’m lying, or when you say it they’re like “omg same my OCD acts up all the time” (9)

And so I’m just like, okay I’ll just shut up because I can’t take it. This is usually because I’m not a clean freak or whatever, so people are like “are you sure?” Or will say “would you get mad if I moved this???” And It makes me wish I never told anyone in the first place (10)

Like it just makes me want to scream because my OCD doesn’t manifest that way! I also wish people would stop calling obsessive behaviours weird and trying to ask if they can help curb it by saying “maybe spray your thumbs with something poisonous?” (11)

Or “shave your arm hairs so you don’t feel them often?” Like I’ll still do it because I feel like I will die or murder people or do something terrible if I don’t! Even though I know I won’t but.....yeah. Also please stop saying you’re “so OCD” because (12)

That doesn’t make any sense love. How can you be so Obsessive compulsive disorder??? That’s such a picky thing but it makes no sense so...no it’s also funny to me how people say they want to normalise talking about mental disorders/illnesses but (13)

Not when it comes to less talked about things like OCD. I feel like it’s not even safe to talk about to because people will be....very dismissive. I get that they’re irrational thoughts btw. Most people with OCD know their thoughts are incredibly irrational. (14)

But that doesn’t mean I won’t think about them. Please stop making OCD quirky or whatever because it’s not at all. It’s crippling and I can spend hours thinking I’m a serial killer or a bigot. It’s already hard being invalidated by everyone (15)

So for my sake and for the sake of people struggling please stop. It’s upsetting me and my homegirls and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I get that we’ve been given an image of a lot of mental disorders but they aren’t desirable. Okay I’m done fbdndnd (16)