i have almost 1000 hours played in xiv so im gonna do a fun little thread about my personal experiences with every job while i wait for dps q to pop

PLD: clemency machine. not the most asshole of tanks so thats good. not the nicest either tho

WAR: i respect you! you dont give a fuck about meta and you somehow know how to keep aggro with overpower. what a legend. teach me please i fucking hate having to position to get every mob

drk: for having played an entire questline about the power of love you sure are an asshole huh. i have no good experiences with drk unless they are lalas

gnb: another tank that doesnt give a fuck about meta! i love you so much, most of you are super fun to play with. love the class too, 10/10 def the most fun tank to lvl

whm: the drk of healers. what is wrong with most of you. you became what you hated the most on your og days. i dont know how many times ive heard “you should be able to heal this amount of mobs just fine” from a whm main

astro: listen i might be biased but astro is so much fun. love it. my baby. never met a bad one in my life. you, my friend, are THE ELITE. but please dont use nocturnal sect when youre with a sch thats just an asshole move. and also stupid pls we need regen

sch: mmmmm fairy tasty. ive never met a bad sch, they are nice, its a really hard healer to learn and i respect you a lot. eos best girl

monk: if you makn this class you hate yourself. i cant think of any other reason why you would want to destroy your hands like that. ive seen a grand total of 3, maybe 4 monks on all the time ive spent in xiv. kind of a cryptid

drg: we get it you’re thirsty for estinien. your jumps are cool but please try not to land off platform next time im begging you

ninja: FUCK YOU YOU EVERY TIME I GRIND DUNGEONS FOR GLAMS ALL THE DROPS ARE FOR NINJAS I HATE YOUR GUTS

sam: you sacrificed your dignity for high damage. i respect you most of the time

bard: you ship sanson and guydelot dont you. either that or you wanted to show off your musical skills

mch: you wanted to deal high damage but melee was too much of a commitment. you are every dancer’s favourite whore

dnc: listen i main dancer and i love it bUT IF I SEE ANY OF YOU USING YOUR FINISHES BEFORE A PULL IM GONNA GO BONKERS YOURE WASTING SO MUCH DAMAGE IT MAKES ME GO INSANE PLEASE

blm: you just dont want to move and thats ok!!!! i respect that. go stand in the middle of an aoe my royal you deserve your leylines

sum: you are bahamut’s whore

rdm: really fun class! love it! yall are really chill until people start asking for raises in lvl 50/60 content. please be careful with platforms and aoes when you use corps a corps and displacement. its funny seeing you die but it makes me feel bad

blu: the REAL cryptids. can you even main this. stop exploding bitch

thanks for coming to my ted talk i completely forgot the purpose of this thread midways but my q just popped yes its been 30 minutes im in hell