Paati is in nonstop chatty mood and is speaking to me in Mal interspersed with English so I understand.
Words used - Leniency, inquisitiveness, tribute, frugal ☺
She is too shy to converse in English but years of reading TheHindu from top to bottom has built a strong vocab.
Paati was 14 when her family received an alliance. She learnt that the prospective groom worked in Cochin n got excited cos she'd finally get to live in a pattanam (city)
Though 10 years older, he was ex-army, handsome and had a paunch (sign of prosperity)... So she said YES.
But grandpa has his conditions. He wanted the girl to finish her SSLC cos he wanted an 'educated' wife.
Poor grandma who had absolutely no inclination to pursue education was forced to go to school.
Between day dreaming, learning household chores she managed to finish her 10th.
When she was married off her family was under the impression that the boy made ezhunooru rooba (700 Rs) per month but in reality he was earning irunooru (200 Rs). Even though the income was not much, Paati was a capable woman and managed the show without asking help from anyone.
She had 3 kids. One son (my dad) and 2 dotters. She put them in the best schools in Cbe and gave them good education. She was known for her generosity and helping tendency. Even today she is a favorite among the neighbours cos she is always concerned about their well-being
30 years into her married life, her diabetic husband lost his eyesight gradullay and became blind. But she didn't panic. Got her daughter married and managed the household all by herself. Until then she relied so much on her husband and suddenly she had to be THE ONE in charge
How did a SSLC pass get a good grasp of English? Grandpa :)
Everyday for the next decade he would make her read the entire newspaper, top to bottom aloud. N if she stuttered over a word, he'd make her refer the dictionary and learn it. That habit still stays, even today
A few days ago her 67 year old daughter passed away. It was a sudden death. She breathed her last in my grandma's lap.
This is grief beyond words.
To watch your daughter die is not easy to handle. But she stunned us all with the way she carried herself. Stoic and resilient.
When my dad and I were rushing to reach the scene, she called him over phone and told "One who has left us is gone now. Please drive carefully son. Don't panic. Be aware of your emotions'.
Imagine...
When most people lose their sanity at such devastating times..here she was.
I felt very proud of the way my grandma held herself throughout the whole thing. Some were worried that she hadn't cried. I'm super close to her. I took her aside in the night and expressed my concern about the whole thing. She looked at me with moist eyes..
"As a mother im sad my daughter is gone. But I'm happy she didn't suffer. Birth and death are an integral part of our lives. I don't believe in crying and showing people I'm sad. But I will be alright". On the 3rd day we did the ritual of immersing ashes. That day she broke down
My paati and I, as a jodi are sorting through all my aunty's stuff and I'm more and more fascinated by her stories.
She is still in love with her husband who died 27 years ago. 😭😍😭😍
Felt like talking about her and sharing these pictures
My 86 year old #SassyGrandma
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