My younger self, who kept changing jobs and careers due to boredom & dissatisfaction, should have read more leftist theory. I would have realized that under capitalism, the fulfillment I was seeking would not be found in any job.

Understanding this doesn't make it feel any better though. Because I still have to work. And unless I get very lucky, I'll always have to work, as most people will.

It doesn't matter how much I like what I do or who I work with. That "have to" is always hanging over my head

Imagine what we could do with our lives if having our basic needs met didn't require putting in many hours a week of labor for someone else.

Most of us will never achieve our true potential because we have to put basic survival first.

It's so fucked. I've been thinking about retirement lately, both as a concept that is an example of how fucked capitalism is (so the only time people get to enjoy their lives is when they're elderly?) and because my mom is at that age, and she has no plan.

Assuming you're able to retire, we have to devote the first 22 years of our lives learning how to be useful to labor, and then then next 40ish years laboring.

And then when we're old *maybe* we get to actually enjoy our lives without having to work.

Who the fuck invented this

I used to think that I'm just too picky when it comes to work, or that I'm lazy, or ungrateful, or just not made for working, which is why I get fed up with jobs so easily.

The truth is, none of us are made for this shit.

Over the past several years, I've been learning to separate my self worth and overall life enjoyment from my job. It is a constant struggle. But it's necessary.