There’s a problem with asking to a victim of religious trauma to “listen to the other side.” While I understand this an attempt to humanize everyone, the person you are asking me to listen does not afford me the same humanity and validity.

A conservative Christian pastor sees me as broken, unrepentant, sinful, and loved by + separated from God. Despite my story, my faith or the stats that my life produces, nor how often they follow mental health trend lines into the toilet, that pastor doesn’t see his contribution.

To the pastor, my suffering is a result of my sins, not the systemic oppression that faces minority identities. My suffering is my fault, not the result of how HE has voted, taught Christians to treat me, nor rooted in any of his problematic theology.

My issue is that conservative Christians typically will not humanize me. And by that I mean they won’t actually listen. Because if someone says “these beliefs caused me to attempt suicide twice” and you DONT question your belief, ur dedicated more to policy than to people.

I don’t need to listen to them because I was them. I don’t need to understand them because I do. I was them. And to ask me to listen to them go over the same dehumanizing bullshit AGAIN is to brutalize myself for the sake of what? Conversation? Their peace of mind?

Before I engage with anyone, I need a guarantee that my POV, my views, and my theological claims will be, at minimum, respected.

But you cannot respect me if you don’t see me as already part of the Beloved.

So, no, I don’t have any interest in debate, proving my worth, etc.

And if that person who doesn’t respect you is your family, draw a boundary.

“If you cannot respect me and treat me kindly, our relationship will change.” Simple as that.

Have a kick ass Tuesday. Don’t give into bullshit. Keep hope alive. And get ur absentee ballot.