I worked on Creative Media and TV production in Bristol as a Black woman for years...I eventually left the industry because the daily very overt aggressive racism of a few people made it impossible for me to actually do my job...and it took years to recover mental health wise...

I also worked in that same newsroom with Marvin as a Black woman, single parent not Oxbridge educated, and not accepted as part of the established team of reporters. From start I was patronised, not given opportunities, and when I resigned was told ‘well done for lasting so long’

The deep darkness of the industry was from the top down - amazingly kind execs not seeing the behaviour of producers/directors as inhumane and racist - to younger newer interns being given permission to degrade and display animosity as proof of hunger for career.

Many of those people are still working in TV and in Bristol. Many lauded for their work onscreen irregardless of the known damage they have done to people and projects over decades. Many have trained/mentored a whole new generation of White TV who still hold those ugly values.

In 22 years of living in the city, in 12 years of being a writer/screenwriter, I have been invited to meetings by only 2 production companies in the city. Both have people at the top who I had previously worked for. I have made a short film with one - currently in production.

The truth is in this city, TV industry has gone largely unscrutinised. In fact I would go as far as to say, the more badly behaved you are, the more like you will be rewarded and you will make gains in your career. And those same people are now taking up spaces in Netflix too.

I was good at my job, I was intelligent and I was keen but none of that meant shit because I was Black and I just didn’t fit in, and there were many who capitalised on that racism and systemic language to duck me over everyday. These are not anecdotes.

In the end I just couldn’t take it as well as going through a very difficult break up and ended up with years of depression. No matter how hard I smiled. No natter the few odd kind and encouraging people I had failed. And it took years to pull the knives out of my back...

Years to regain confidence. Years to build a new career. Years to trust again. And yet I see those same people thriving still in that still toxic environment. I have rarely spoken about this. I guess it was such an ugly part of my working life so far...

And they’re still playing the same game, interested in the ‘new entrants’ to the industry. Not interested in Black people ( esp Black women) with the experience or cultural capital to actually challenge an industry they know well. I have seen so many TV ‘things’ in Bristol...

And have really been speechless at the erasure of so many people. We were here making films, Ad’ing on Casualty, making radio, pitching to channels for years. But part of racism is erasure. Make the new Black people in it feel special by making think there was no one before them.

And it’s always funny who gets remembered. Anyway like @DavidOlusoga said people gave me opportunities. People tried to make a way through for me. But most of TV in Bristol needs to take a real hard look at itself because it is world renown but behaves like a Whites only club.

And tbh that’s the truth for theatre too but when in TV I had a very young daughter and I could not afford to do anything that might break me. I needed to be together for her. I came back to theatre as she got older and I had regained strength and our lives weren’t so precarious.

Living and working in this city comes with A LOT!!! Many align themselves with the cosmos of London, many even travel there regularly. In fact the films we’re know for means many travel the globe regularly. This is the city of the Natural World storytelling. FFS!!

But it is in Bristol that they get to play out their small mindedness in relative peace. Lots of big fishes in a small pond forgetting the world is watching you. I have all the credentials but honestly apart from the company I’m working with rn, none of them give a rat’s ass...

David asks a good question - and every TV production currently in Bristol needs to ask it - “At the beginning of every production we ask ourselves what will the team photograph would look like. Will it resemble the country we actually live in and the audiences we actually serve?”

Anyway I worked in natural world filmmaking. I am an experienced storyteller. And once you’ve done the work on how many Black audiences watch natural history programming traditionally too...then let’s chat and change this with the people that have seen it play out time so often.

Anyway here is the full @DavidOlusoga - who was also there at same time during my BBC Bristol years. It’s clear, honest and unfiltered brilliance https://amp.theguardian.com/media/2020/aug/24/david-olusoga-his-edinburgh-television-festival-speech-in-full?__twitter_impression=true

And as David so eloquently spoke of, change will come whether you like it or not. The choice you have now is whether you get to be on the side doing the work for change. And if you’re not have the decency to be honest about. We know a lot of you don’t want to see change...

And all the barriers and assault courses you put in place...your mate doesn’t have any more experience than me in storytelling or nurturing talent, and had to learn production budgets and industry ‘jargon’ same way, but they get to call themselves ‘exec’ or ‘commissioner’ WHY?

Because they look like you, and in your head that is shorthand for knowledgeable, expert, teachable, leadership, ‘good eye for stories’, connected and employable. You’re lying to yourself and your mate and WE CAN ALL SEE IT.

And yet after all that, I felt like I was the one that had failed. Had failed to convince them with the right support, nurturing, less passive aggressive behaviour and othering, I could be an amazing filmmaker. So yeah this racism robs of us of futures. Whole damn futures!!!