Yes, the hypocrisy of Jerry Falwell Jr. is disgusting. But all this drama has me reflecting on growing up in #purityculture & the ways it has affected my life & how I view my body. If you’re just here for the science, feel free to skip this.

Purity culture, a thread: 1/x

I grew up in early 2000s evangelicalism. Nothing as fundamentalist as Liberty U, but think mission trips, youth group, Christian music, etc. I have a lot of fond memories of my time in church and it did a lot of good in my life. But there is definitely some baggage I carry... 2/

When I hit middle school, we started having sex talks in youth group that focused on purity (re no sex before marriage). And from the start I was told that men are prone to lust and we, as sisters in Christ, are responsible for helping them. That our bodies were tempting. 3/

This messaging was constant. From “modest is hottest” to a “praise the lord test” (raising your hands above your head to make sure no torso was showing) to absolutely no bikinis or spaghetti straps, I was always aware of what I wore & how it could be tempting. 4/

I poured over “And the bride wore white” but thankfully my parents were smart and had me avoid “I kissed dating goodbye.” I had a purity ring because I wanted one. In so many ways, I was a good Christian girl and I loved going to church. It was a great community. 5/

But the purity culture messaging was so toxic. I remember in middle school praying and thanking God that he made me skinny with small boobs so that I wouldn’t be tempting to men (y’all I was a scrawny ass kid). I didn’t receive the stares my friends who “developed early “ did. 6/

At my Christian high school, girls got in trouble for dressing “provocatively” and breaking dress code because their shirts were too tight or low cut. Y’all, these were teenage girls in normal V-necks who happened to have boobs. And they were punished for their bodies. 7/

But I skated by without getting in trouble because my body wasn’t seen as problematic since I’m skinny & white. So many times I was told “you’re so lucky you’re skinny” and in a way, it seemed I was more pure because my body was less temping. Purity culture is VERY fat phobic. 8/

Somehow I made it through without developing an eating disorder (I credit being on swim team for this). I have never hated my body. But for years I was acutely aware of how my body would be perceived by men. Who are we kidding, I still am. 9/

And the rape culture was rampant! I remember talking with friends about how they were cat-called & worse and we legit said the phrase, “well, what could you have done differently? We’re you wearing something revealing?” As young teenagers we learned this from purity culture. 10/

Now I know that a grown man cat-calling a 13 y/o is sexual harassment. It’s creepy and predatory. But at the time the lines were blurry because our bodies were viewed as dangerous. As tempting. As worthy of blame. As equally culpable in the sin of lust. 11/

In many ways, I think the Madonna/whore complex is an apt description of how women are viewed in purity culture. We are praised for being modest & chaste & demonized for showing any sexual capacity or desire. I mean, just look at the conservative discussion about WAP. 12/

It has taken me years to unpack what I internalized from purity culture (and I feel lucky to have escaped the worst of it). I still am unlearning. And oh boy, did this Falwell shit show trigger some strong emotions in me. 13/

I’m not even mad about the Falwell’s swinger tendencies. I’m mad at the blatant hypocrisy and the blaming of women. Of the ridiculous double standards here. Falwell has thrown his wife under the bus through this mess in a classic “blame the temptress” manner. I can’t even. 14/

#Purityculture is about controlling women & their bodies. It’s fat phobic. It’s racist. It’s even worse for the LGBTQ community (that’s a whole other topic). So when you want to laugh at Falwell & his mess, just don’t forget the dangers of purity culture & damage it’s done. 15/15