1) My ancestors intentionally owned people, to secure their wealth through intentional use of enslaved labor. Even if I asked them directly I doubt these ancestors would deny this. They can’t. It’s documented, written history. What can I do with this as a descendant? Plenty.

2) I cannot honor my ancestors without acknowledging all of who they were. Justice is an important part of my intergenerational trauma practice. And it’s not just about the trauma we inflicted on one another it’s about the trauma we have inflicted on non-family as well.

3) I cannot resolve the trauma we have inflicted on others without being open to the voices of those impacted. We don’t get to decide what justice is, in a vacuum. That’s not how justice works, justice requires full engagement. Sitting. Listening.

4) And just like the trauma work I’ve done within my family layers and generations, it is work that will push me to uncomfortable places. That’s just reality. That’s how this work, works. I’m a necessary piece of the process, but control is not mine.

5) I *can* control whether I’m willing to show up for the work. Part of this has been going into my family history and acknowledging what I have found there. Sharing it with my family here in the present. Making sure we all understand the facts that brought us here.

6) Some have been willing to hear it. They want facts as much as I do. Some don’t like it. I can’t control that. What I’m responsible for is making sure they have the information. It is the culture and the history of what brought us here and the facts are what they are.

7) I’ve met resistance from some of the living. But I’ve yet to run into resistance from the dead. Maybe I will in the future, just haven’t yet. The dead seem to appreciate my interest, generally. Their disapproval certainly wouldn’t stop me but I value their support.

8) Diving into my own family history isn’t the end of this work but I recommend it as valuable. Many white people are disconnected from their true roots and I think it leaves some of us confused and searching. We try to control others because we don’t know our own roots.

9) We resent the identities and roots of others, when we don’t even know our own. We tell others that identity doesn’t matter - but it does. And ours does, too. But without a real picture of it, how do we even know who we really are?

10) Be willing to dig. Be willing to engage. Be willing to listen, to the voices of all parties. This is how we find justice. How we begin to see what it looks like. Without facts we cannot have justice. And as bell hooks says “without justice there can be no love.”