Having thoughts this morning about the ways a culture of skepticism toward everything besides the big, mainstream religions messes with the minds of all polytheists. Please bear with me through what will, most likely, be a very tangled thread indeed. 1/?

Like, to practice our religion, we have to continually push back against widespread claims that we are EITHER delusional/crazy/making things up, OR we are evil and doing the work of the devil. 2/?

And then add to that the lack of any kind of structure for a person who feels called to a life of devotion to or contemplation of the Gods. Not only are we, then, either delusional or evil, we are also shit out of luck if we wish to be full time devotees of our Gods. 3/?

This lack of support structure for contemplatives & priests means those called to those roles get to struggle with BOTH financial insecurity, AND get to be branded as lazy/ unproductive, though a Christian called to 1 of those roles is deeply respected (at least in theory). 4/

Just living our religious truth is inherently isolating and, if we are open about it in public, potentially traumatic as we are gaslighted and derided by atheists and monotheists and EVEN MANY OTHER PAGANS. Is it any wonder we are so fragmented and fractious as a community? 5/?

This isn't a pity party: I am lucky to be in a comparatively safe environment where I am free to be fairly open about my religion, and I live in a liberal city with a pretty big crowd of pagans and a few other devout polytheists I can spend time with. But even so, 6/?

I question my own sanity and value every. single. day.

I ask myself every day if I've become one of those people who has completely lost touch with reality, even though my experiences have shown me time & again the Gods are here, & engage with us in very real ways. 7/?

I ask myself every day if I can justify doing the work I feel called to do when it isn't guaranteed to earn money or produce something of socially agreed upon value. Not b/c it CAN'T, but b/c, maybe, my Gods aren't worried about my income & "productivity" in the same way I am 8/?

OR in the same way society seems to be. But They DO have tasks for me that take a lot of time and energy - enough time and energy to make working a "real job" unrealistic. In my case, I have family who is supportive and recognizes the value of non-saleable skills and work. 9/

A lot of polytheists aren't so lucky, & we miss out on what they might accomplish if they didn't have to choose between meeting basic needs & doing the work of the Gods full time. Dreaming that someday we can restore polytheist cultures that provide support for all of us. 10/?

This is all, of course, tangled up with the general problem of being valued as a female in an inherently misogynistic, patriarchal culture. And now, if you're still reading, you know more than you ever wanted to know about what goes on inside my head. End of thread.