so i'm having a very hard time managing my emotions around people saying not to shame Falwell. my brain agrees, but my body, which is still recovering from 20 yrs of shaming by evangelical fundamentalism that Falwell et al advocate for, is in high revolt.

i want him to be called all the names i've been called. i want him to be ostracized by people he loves, kicked out of his family, held up by his community as the shameful failure that even god can not love.

he was a part of the machine that made that happen not just for me, but for millions of us, across the world. people have killed themselves, lost their families, been imprisoned for what his endorsement of and enacting of the fundamentalist machine.

the 'me' that is recovering from religious and spiritual abuse of fundamentalist christians wants him eaten up and spit out by that machine, just like the rest of us.

it is hard to even hold onto the logic of 'that machine is going to continue to killing people with or without falwell' when ur still dealing with your own trauma, anger, shame, inflicted on you by that same machine.

i will. i will hold onto logic in the face of overwhelming emotion. or rather, i will continue to protect myself and people i love by working to end and depower christian fundamentalism. even when it's hard, like it is now.

but i also want to say that perhaps those who are eagerly jumping up to protect those who also enjoy the type of sex falwell like *over* those who are dealing with the conflicting emotions--

please try to understand what a slap in the face it is to hear 'don't shame falwell' for those of us who have been literally shamed to death, out of jobs, out of families, out of communities, churches, schools.

imagine the burden of being told since u were a small child--even *god* can't love you.

that is a burden many don't survive carrying.

falwell is not the only one doing this. he has NEVER been the only one doing this. it is the norm in fundamentalist communities. the damage and violence they inflict on others is immeasurable.

this conversation should not be about kink shaming, it shouldn't even be about hypocrisy--it should be about fundamentalist men using religion as a method of power usurpation and control.

my guess is that there will be a level of shaming thru forced apology and then an embracing back into the fold thru jesus' command to forgive sinners.

they have long recognized that power and control must be held in the hands of particular people. how do we destroy their ability to control and that power thru religion?

I am not going to say don’t shame Falwell. I AM going to say make sure you’re shooting at the right thing—the thing that will stop and destroy Christian nationalism and fundamentalist Christianity.

to me, this isn't abt hypocrisy, this is abt *power*--as in, falwell has the power to recover from this. he will not be sent to a conversion camp, he will not be isolated/removed from his family. he won't lose his money, his name--

hell, right now he's trying to cover his tracks by saying this is all his wife's fault. he won't even lose the ability to get people to trust and believe him.

he is cloaked by the power his moral authority gives him. his asking for forgiveness will strengthen his power and the christian fundamentalist cause rather than weaken it. they've been cloaking trump in this same outfit since he became president.

challenging his power and the power of christian fundamentalists will come from recognizing his power over his hypocrisy, if that makes sense.