I've been floating around 185-ish followers for the last year or two, and it just struck me I have no idea how to increase this. All the tips and tricks for engaging with social media and growing a platform feel ghastly and shallow, but also like... essential? I don't know.

My worth as a creator and musician is not easily quantified by how many people listen to my work, but it's very, very easy to convince myself that it is, something that I'm aware is true across all artistic mediums. I find myself obsessing over the idea of *growth.*

It leaves me with the conflicting desire to be seen, heard and recognised against my equal desire to be genuine, something which marketing... isn't. I think this is *also* a common problem for creators. We just want to make, not comment on ten different twitter threads an hour.

I don't think it *bothers* me, but I'm also very aware of it, that although I improve as a musician, as I write (to my ears) better pieces, I have little traction in my field. Desire to be seen Vs. no desire to market myself.

This thread isn't for anything or anyone, I'm not asking and don't expect anyone to run out and shout my name out to the heavens for me. Just a passing moment of melancholic reflection on how my ideas of worth can be attached to numbers that don't mean a lot. Thanks for reading.