This ain't meant to alarm, n I'm okay considering but: everyday, it takes alot for me to not blow my, or your, brains out. So many things happen all the time, everyday, affectin all of me. Every color of emotion fills me n becomes a brown tone that I am forced to wear as skin.

I am trying to figure out how to harness and control these colors and restore them to their own individual autonomy but the more I lean in, the more the brown becomes black and black is a weapon. This color is a threat to not only you, but is starting to become a threat to me.

So many... an unbelievable amount of instances a day where I'm forced to remember these colors can't be separated from me and my kinfolk. That this red, blue, purple, yellow, green, orange, all can't reach through black. It's either on top, or without.

Sometimes, I wish I could be ignorant, live into the range of these colors fully, without knowing that all of these colors could be muted, or capped, blackened . But what would I be left with if I never saw the color black again. I would never trade what I have/am learning.

I send love to everyone all over. We are in a cycle perpetrated by a system we were all forced to learn before we are born. It's hard and unfair when the learning period for one includes the harm of another. I feel for all those that have been harmed and retaliated how they have.

I send love to those that exist in the intersections more than me. I've learned everything from you all and this thread would have been much shorter if I hadn't.

I'm working to unlearn my fear, hatred of black. I feel this last year has opened a channel that I'm just now figuring how to work with. Black is such a beautiful color.