Ack.... This could have been me had my parents actually bothered with, yknow, parenting https://twitter.com/ReadBerserk1/status/1281946992357158912

So I don't wanna seem like I'm whining now, but shit like that will follow you into adult life.

My parents, instead of taking the initiative to support my talents BECAUSE IM THEIR CHILD, told me I should ask my art teachers instead

Imagine being 10 years old and hearing this^. Can you imagine how utterly demoralizing that is?
Now that I'm an adult I can do whatever the hell I want. Get my own art supplies, never be dependent on money my parents never gave me

I was *always* holding back because money was sparse. Didn't even get lunch money, never went to go out. I refused to because I knew it was sparse. Parents should have known BETTER but they didnt. Me living in relinquishment was convenient for THEM so they didn't do anything

Funny how things change for the better once you start caring for YOURSELF. But you will spent youre entire adulthood relearning basic self-care skills you should have learned while you were a child & struggle more than the average adult

It numbs your senses, emotions over time, making you prone to depression. There is a bunch of bad coping mechanisms that you have to unlearn as well

It's a miracle that I'm still standing & became a functioning adult after all the crap I've been through

If I look at others people, their lives in shambles because of how stupid, short-sighted and self-centered they are. Their lives are a myriad of bad decisions. They make themselves comfortable & wonder why their lives are so shit

The opposite of mine, I am on the way to healing & a better life, always have been. My efforts to get better are lasting over two decades now. If you travelled back in time and told 14 year old me about where I am now, I wouldnt have believed it at all

Even if things weren't necessarily my fault, I tried to do whatever I could to better my situation. I learn very quickly, even from other people's experiences. Over time I achieved a lot.

But I wouldn't have been able to do that if not somewhere, I had hope for a better life, which was given to me by others, complete strangers, fiction (mostly anime/games). Rose of Versailles, Sailor Moon, Phantom Thief Jeanne, Vagrant Story, MGS series were huge influences

Even if it could be better, my progress feels genuine & lasting. It's not a facade, not an illusion. If you've been through so much, you slowly start believe in yourself & think, if I've been through THAT I'm going to manage the rest as well

Don't let the past or anyone else ever decide your future. Screw it all with a cactus. It's never too late to do what you want and enjoy. It just takes you longer than others because things get in the way

At times like this, all these negative emotions cook up, feeling regret for things you couldn't have possibly changed all by yourself. I hope that whoever reads this long thread doesn't feel negative, but rather inspired

me rn

I havent felt this in very along time. Hello darkness my old friend, how's it goin, it's been a while