All this discourse on the TL about "lacking empathy" like...my friend, I would be MUCH more concerned if someone lacked sympathy than if they lacked empathy.

Words tend to hold different definitions w/ different people, so let me clear this up:

For the purpose of this thread

"Empathy" is assumed to be innate & uncontrollable, feeling what [you believe] others [to] feel.

Sympathy, a deliberate effort to understand/process the way someone feels, even if you don't or even can't feel the same

If someone lacks empathy and cannot simply "pick up" on your feelings bc of some bullshit innate ability, they can STILL sympathize with you.

THIS is one of many reasons I find the argument about autistic people "lacking" empathy to be a massive waste of time and energy.

others including the fact that autistic folks are often hyper-empathetic, not "lacking" empathy

and the fact that many "empathetic" and "understanding" allistic people lack sympathy (which, following the definitions I have outlined in this thread, I believe is more important)