THREAD: This is a story of my ongoing, extensive and frustrating battle between me and a rattan outdoor couch from @Targetaus.

I moved out into my own apartment almost three months ago and I have this really cute patio. Therefore, I’d been on the hunt for a nice yet affordable two seater outdoor couch.

As I was buying everything I needed for the place, I stumbled across a divine rattan two seater outdoor couch from Target for a little over $100. It wasn’t essential for me at that moment, so I noted that it was there.

I started to settle in, and with everything furnished indoors, I turned my attention to the patio. Upon my research, everything else online – be it new or second hand – was either too large for my patio or too expensive.

So I think about the Target couch again. My dad lives right near the aforementioned Target, so I gave him a call to see if he could go in and check if it was there. He said it wasn’t.

My next thought was to look online and see if I could get it delivered or picked up via click and collect. Much to my dismay, no such couch existed online. It wasn’t just sold out or back-ordered – it didn’t exist.

Later that week, I was out for dinner with my cousin whose mother (my aunt) works at that target. I brought up the couch and she (also used to work at the same target) said she doubts that Target ever sold it.

She asked her mum – who literally works in the section where it was sold – and said she has never seen it.

At this point, I’m convinced Target is gaslighting me into thinking this couch didn’t actually exist and I’ve been making it up. Alas, I stop thinking about it.

Cut to a few weeks later, and I’m at a different shopping centre. I go into Target, completely forgetting about the lounge, and yet there it is. On the bottom shelf, with one box left.

I immediately call my dad (who has a truck) to see if he’s available to pick it up tomorrow for me. He is. Right. That’s sorted.

Stupidly, I didn’t ask to put it on hold or lay-by it – fearing that I might not be able to pick it up for whatever reason – so I walked out of Target.

I then went to Kmart to see if I could get some things and, as I leave Kmart, I see a woman with a trolley walk in. What’s in the trolley? The fucking rattan couch.

I immediately go back to Target to see if it’s still there and maybe this woman had one she bought earlier. Nope. No box. Nothing.

For the next few days, I’m ringing every Target within a 50km radius to see if they have it in stock. None of them do, and the couch still doesn’t exist online.

Defeated, I resign to the reality that I’m not getting this couch and instead spend a cool $30 on two chairs and a table from Facebook Marketplace. Needed a paint job and a bit of fixing up, but we did that no problem. This was last week.

Fast forward to tonight. I’m feeling good about my patio. There’s herbs growing. I just had an outdoor set of shelves delivered. I’m excited. I am getting food delivered via DoorDash, and I get a text saying that the driver is out the front.

My apartment is on the ground floor and is the third ground floor apartment down from the street. So, I have to walk past two other apartments before I meet my delivery person.

Two guys moved into apartment at the front about a month after I moved into mine. On their patio has always been: a bike, a selection of nice plants and two camping chairs. As I approach their patio, I expect to see the exact same thing I’ve always seen there.

But - and I swear I actually stopped dead in my tracks – I see the motherfucking, god damned Target rattan two seater couch. They even got two nice leaf-printed cushions for it. It’s just sitting there – mocking me. Taking the absolute piss out of me.

This couch has been so illusive, the bane of my furnishing existence for MONTHS and now it rocks up on my neighbour’s patio the WEEK after I cop it and buy something else.

This is the lamest and most stupid problem you’ve probably ever seen on this website, but this is a message to all those that feel a piece of furniture has a personal vendetta against you: I hear you, and I support you.