British post-war prime ministers as British Rail post-war locomotives: a thread.

Clement Attlee = Class 47

Best in class. Transformed services in Britain, providing a tremendous improvement for huge numbers of people. Showed signs of fatigue towards end of career and ought to have stepped away from front-line service earlier.

Winston Churchill = Class 37

Reliable and sturdy, though undoubtedly well past sell-by date in later years of service. A prolific smoker. The nation's focus for nostalgic views of the past that ignore a complicated history.

Anthony Eden = Class 52

Attained front-line role thanks to a fixation with outdated ideas. Superficially capable, but in reality largely weak and ineffective. Remembered mostly for catastrophic failures.

Harold Macmillan = Class 66

An austere but reliable workhorse. A mixed relationship with working conditions and air quality. Has done little to push technology forwards. Unpopular with railway enthusiasts.

Alec Douglas-Home = Class 22

Largely forgettable, with a career to match. Served an incredibly short time in service. The last in a line of outdated relics.

Harold Wilson = Class 40

A plucky if cumbersome northerner. Gave solid service during career, though failed to deliver on initial hopes. Steadily fell from grace as public and colleagues' disillusionment with poor performance grew.

Edward Heath = Class 56

Assertive and capable. Modelled more closely on preceding types than successors were. Had a decidedly European beginning and end to front-line service. Concluded career with a whimper rather than a bang.

James Callaghan = Class 55

A career defined by power-sharing, hubris, and a rapid fall from grace. Entered service with impressive credentials, but ultimately only spent a relatively short period in front-line operations. Had a big nose.

Margaret Thatcher = Class 43 (HST)

Considered to have dragged the country into the modern era, but actually locked-in an outdated source of power for decades. Came along at a time of great change and is often credited for more of that change than ought to be the case.

John Major = Class 31

Decidedly unremarkable with little lasting impact, but a surprisingly useful service life viewed with the benefit of hindsight. Member of a long, unofficial line with black windscreen wipers and a grey roof.

Tony Blair = Class 86

Heralded the future, but only after demise of predecessors. Made a bit of a mess of infrastructure throughout career. Spent later years in front-line service on borrowed time. Still finding extensive work abroad.

Gordon Brown = Class 91

Technically capable and certainly a heavy-hitter, but wider events and a lack of general appeal led to a shortened career in front-line service. Slower to pick up pace but unstoppable once moving. Occasionally exposes blunt side to the general public.

David Cameron = Class 43 (Warship)

A pretty shoddy type with a career to match. Riddled with reliability issues and prone to repeated failures. Tried to break with European ties without due effort or consideration resulting in unavoidable calamity. Has an oddly shaped face.

Theresa May = Class 74

A re-hash. Tried to be all things to all people, but suffered dismal reliability. Incapable of joined up operations despite supposed multiple working abilities. Defined by its relentless failures in service. Had a relatively short career as a result.

Boris Johnson = Class 50

Loud, fast and has a habit of swallowing its own effluent. Been around a bit. Inexplicably popular with the masses. Incapable of handling complex operations or heavy lifting. Still relies on outdated sources of power. Steeped in archaic WW2 references.

This thread was the consequence of a horrid bout of insomnia… If you want me to (a) stop this nonsense or (b) create more of this nonsense, head over to http://patreon.com/garethdennis  where I am forced to listen to your opinions by merit of the fact that you are paying me.