All Premier League Football teams as football videogames: A thread.

ARSENAL: FIFA

Revolutionary in 96/98. Technically brilliant, and so much fun back then. Increasingly bloated, expensive and flawed every year since. They always say that next year will be better...

/1
ASTON VILLA: MICROPROSE SOCCER

A bit rubbish and limited to your eyes, but your dad keeps banging on about how revolutionary they were in the eighties, so you just nod along for a peaceful life.

(See also: Leeds)

/2
BRIGHTON AND HOVE ALBION: FIFA STREET

Kind of a cool idea and felt fresh at one point, but just awful in reality.

/3
BURNLEY: PONG FOOTBALL

Super cheap, basic as hell and people laugh, but you can't deny it's the essence of football done PERFECTLY, and secretly quite exciting to watch.

/4
CHELSEA: CHAMPIONSHIP MANAGER 5

The first time you realised money mattered more than the game. A shoddy, cash-rich mess that tried to 'leverage an existing brand'.

Bizarrely, still has some fans.

/5
CRYSTAL PALACE: PLAYER MANAGER

You can go months without thinking about it. Then someone will mention it in conversation and you'll be all "oh YEAH I'd completely forgotten that existed"

You'll have forgotten the conversation within minutes of it ending though.

/6
EVERTON: FIFA MOBILE

I mean, TECHNICALLY it's football but it's nowhere near as good or as big as it thinks it is. Occasionally you see people hate-playing it on public transport.

Liverpool are always lurking in the background as well.

/7
FULHAM: FOOTBALL DRAMA

Actually a LOT of fun. Hipsters and football podcasters love it. It's not really football though, is it?

(Editor's note: if you've not played this though, you really should)

/8
LEEDS UNITED: FOOTBALL MANAGER (KEVIN TOMS VERSION)

HUGE back in the day, but mostly forgotten until recently. Now everyone claims to have ALWAYS been a fan on Twitter. Not as good as people remember and way more limited than the modern version.

/9
LEICESTER CITY: UEFA DREAM SOCCER

For a very brief and surprising moment, glorious and the best thing out there. Then 'market forces' reasserted themselves. Fun while it lasted though, and someone will probably try (and fail) to kickstart a reboot at some point. /10
LIVERPOOL: SENSIBLE SOCCER

Once the finest out there, no doubt. But fans will NEVER stop banging on about it, so you dislike it out of spite.

Which is annoying, because the modern revival is surprisingly fun and you'd quite like to get involved. But they make it so hard.

/11
MANCHESTER CITY: FIFA ULTIMATE TEAM

Not even football really. Just a collection of dodgy finances and questionable ethics hidden behind random shiny loot drops and a hefty marketing budget.

/12
MANCHESTER UNITED: FOOTBALL MANAGER

Much imitated since the 90s, never truly copied. Infuriatingly good some years. Terrible others. Never seems to affect its popularity though.

Both fun AND boring at the same time, somehow.

/13
NEWCASTLE UNITED: KEVIN KEEGAN'S PLAYER MANAGER

A cheap version of a classic. Been trading on King Keggy's name for years. Never quite works properly, even if you get it running.

/14
SHEFFIELD UNITED: DINO DINI'S 'GOAL!'

No player names you recognise but stupidly fun and surprisingly deep. Big in the old days. Shame nobody has ever heard of it, and it'll never get a sequel.

/15
SOUTHAMPTON: NEW SOCCER

Useful for kids, back in the day. Not much point to it now.

/16
TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR: PRO EVOLUTION SOCCER 4

Spent so many years defining themselves by their rival, that when they actually eclipsed them they almost-instantly bottled it.

/17
WEST BROM: ROCKET LEAGUE

Chaos and goals galore, but suspiciously lacking depth. Fun to watch though.

/18
WOLVERHAMPTON WANDERERS: ONLINE SOCCER MANAGER

Niche at home but popular with casuals abroad. You can't shake the suspicion it'll disappear without warning at some point, so isn't worth getting emotionally invested in.

/19
WEST HAM UNITED: A CARDBOARD BOX FULL OF TWENTY SCRATCHED, CASELESS FIFA PS2 DISKS AVAILABLE FOR £2 ON EBAY

'Nuff said.

/20
You can follow @garius.
Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

Latest Threads Unrolled: