I answer questions on a website where the general public seeks information. One area I answer questions on is areas of abnormal psychology.

People dealing with narcissists obviously has become WAY MORE POPULAR the last four years.

I'm working on getting high let's chat.

The majority of people seeking information and/or advice tends to be women. No shock.

But narcissism is more common in males than females. I have theories on why.

Basically most overt forms of narcissism expressed by people when young? Are curbed in female children as unacceptable behavior.

Since narcissism is a disorder that's almost certainly a mix of nature/nuture ~ this makes sense.

Because where parents fail, society will step in on certain behaviors especially with female children centering themselves.

So you see a big divide. Which isn't to say women aren't narcissists, but it's about a 70/30 split

Most of the questions if you scrape aside the veneer, are basically:

-How can I keep a narcissist in my life?
[You can't without fuckery. Sorry.]

-How can I protect myself from the narcissist?
[Cut them out of your life completely and totally]

-Can the narcissist get better?
[Notice how many narcissists are here seeking help for their problems. Look. No. Go look. It's zero. Yes that's right! Zero. They don't have a problem. You're the problem!]

Narcissists only seek help when their world drops out ~ they will not

and probably can not...make any changes that stick.

Thus, they're considered untreatable by most, and most clinicians won't work with them. Why not work with them?

They use what they learn to do more harm.

And sometimes even...

-How do I fuck with a narcissist and/or psychopath

I get that one a lot.

It's a mugg's game.

What is starkly noticeable?

People who deal with actual narcissists, people with the pathology of narcissism?

Their lives are destroyed.

And understand we're not talking MALIGNANT NARCISSISM.

Donald J. Trump is a malignant narcissist, which means he's someone who has little to no empathy for others. He is a sadist who enjoys harming, torturing, and hurting others as expressions of power. Etc

That's the EXTREME form of narcissism that's the most dangerous, typically, due to the sadistic components. Much like a psychopath is infinitely more dangerous if they're a sexual sadist.

Most narcissists aren't this extreme form, but they're all black holes.

They take. Even when they appear to be givers (like the covert narcissist) ... they're takers. Their persona is a facade, and they're constantly terrified of that facade being seen through. So they are the eye of the storm they create around them, one way or another.

It's also really hard in our evolving society where we want to EMBRACE difference, and be tolerant and accepting of things that are abnormal in a variety of ways.

AND MOSTLY THAT IS GOOD.

I'm a blue eyed ginger, the rarest combo in the world. You've seen people like me I am sure. It's just a rare difference.

We all have autistic friends, it's a rare thing...but not so rare

Some of you might even be..LEFT HANDED!

But some things we should not embrace, or tolerate.

And the reality is that a very small proportion of people are broken in ways that are unbelievably destructive under certain conditions.

And just as we don't let someone with epilepsy drive if they've had a seizure this year

narcissists should never be in positions of power over other people.

They're also abusive parents, because that's a position of power. They literally are not capable of being good parents.

But as a society we haven't QUITE figured out how to deal with some of these facts, while also ...you know ..evolving, being more open, embracing difference.

For many people saying 'Hey, if someone has these problems, we have to take these measures' sounds like pre-crime or

punishing people based on biology or some slippery slope to evil.

I think being aware of that potential is essential.

But I also think most people need protection from monsters among us too. It's outside experience and comprehension for most.

People who have severe empathy impairments can be productive parts of our society. They just cannot or should not have positions of power. They should not be in a role where empathy is relied upon for decision making, or part of their job.

And this isn't punishing anyone, any more than saying 'Hey Billy, if you can't do maths, you can't be a rocket scientist. Sorry.'

Not everyone has the innate skills to do anything they want.

Empathy, kindness, compassion, we should value THESE as highly as maths.

And recognize that empathy can be eroded by environment.

Remember the abuses we saw US soldiers committing on prisoners? All those doing it were not born monsters. But they did monstrous things in an environment where people were dehumanized as 'enemy' and it escalated.

An environment like that, or policing, can become so toxic that it cannot be salvaged. You have to get rid of everyone and start over.

I hope that these issues in coming generations will be given more weight than today, and more social importance as well.

Circling back around to DJT, because he's such a visible example.

It's not his fault he's the way he is. That's hard to grasp. The pathology is that his father was likely a sociopath. He had no mother who was active in his life due to health issues.

So why did HE become a malignant narcissist, where his younger brother...in the same environment...did not.

Probably because he already was biologically empathy impaired like his father.

The environment creates, but the clay had the flaw to begin with.

But yeah it's one of the few things where people can point and say 'environment makes this'.

No narcissist had a good childhood.

None of Donald Trump's kids...had a good childhood.

And we can pity that.

And we can say 'adults are responsible for their actions as adults' which is true. And he's responsible, but ...he also cannot help or change what he is.