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Government to head teachers:
"Get all your staff to teach online straightaway and close your school."
HTs: "OK. Any help for those kids without computers and/or WiFi?"
Gov: "Yes in about two months we will give you nowhere near the amount you need and they'll be locked."
...
"Get all your staff to teach online straightaway and close your school."
HTs: "OK. Any help for those kids without computers and/or WiFi?"
Gov: "Yes in about two months we will give you nowhere near the amount you need and they'll be locked."
...
Gov: "Also make your school into a childcare hub and run it 7-6 everyday making sense of the contradictory and labrynthine guidance we issued."
HT: "OK - what about FSM."
Gov: "You sort that."
HT: "OK."
Gov: "Now reopen schools using this guidance which we'll change every day."
HT: "OK - what about FSM."
Gov: "You sort that."
HT: "OK."
Gov: "Now reopen schools using this guidance which we'll change every day."
HTs: "O..."
Gov: "Socially distance."
HTs: "O...k..."
Gov: "No rotas."
HTs: "Righ..."
Gov: "Of course we don't expect you to socially distance."
HTs: "But..."
Gov: "Get back to work. We'll sort the GCSE and A Levels."
HTs: "I'm not sure that will work.."
Gov: "We messed up."
Gov: "Socially distance."
HTs: "O...k..."
Gov: "No rotas."
HTs: "Righ..."
Gov: "Of course we don't expect you to socially distance."
HTs: "But..."
Gov: "Get back to work. We'll sort the GCSE and A Levels."
HTs: "I'm not sure that will work.."
Gov: "We messed up."
Gov: "Nevermind, just open schools up fully now and make it as safe as possible so the parents actually send in their kids."
HTs: "OK - is there funding to help me do that?"
Gov: "No. Also pay your staff more with the extra money you don't have."
HTs: "How..?"
...
HTs: "OK - is there funding to help me do that?"
Gov: "No. Also pay your staff more with the extra money you don't have."
HTs: "How..?"
...
Gov: "It's a national priority to open schools."
HTs: "We already agreed to open!"
Gov: "It's really important you open schools."
HTs: "WE ARE!"
Gov: "We really need to get kids back to school!"
HTs: "AGREED. Now can you help with transportation?!"
Gov: "Wear a mask."
HTs: "We already agreed to open!"
Gov: "It's really important you open schools."
HTs: "WE ARE!"
Gov: "We really need to get kids back to school!"
HTs: "AGREED. Now can you help with transportation?!"
Gov: "Wear a mask."
HTs: "Is that it?"
Gov: "If there's an outbreak it's your fault."
HTs: "Thanks."
Gov: "If there's an outbreak it's your fault."
HTs: "Thanks."
