its ranting about my gender and sexuality hours!!

ive been a bit dysphoric lately so warning for that

i love being queer. i really do. i love being trans, i love being nonbinary, i love being GNC and i love being genderqueer. its just a huge part of me that im so fond of. if i wasnt any of those things, id never be who i am or where i am or doing the things um doing the way im +

doing them. because most things in my life have a direct correlation to me being queer. the things i study, the way i behave and express myself, its all about being queer. being queer is inherently a part of me. and i love it. i love being queer

also im so, so happy i found peace in identifying as achillean and enbian. as though as i’m queer and achillean and enbian, i still feel unlabeled, which is great for me. identifying as each of those things makes me feel so comfortable with myself and the way i experience gender

saying im queer makes my gender euphoria go crazy. saying im enbian and achillean makes me feel warm inside. and still, im unlabeled, i don’t have an specific orientation, and, honestly? i feel like thats a part of me, too. a relevant one. being unlabeled is important to me

because, i mean, labeling my gender was not the greatest process. it turns out im unaligned and in the agender spectrum, but i honestly feel like simply saying im nonbinary and genderqueer should be enough. i dont really enjoy people wanting to know my alignment and stuff

because rn im labeling myself a LOT in gender terms. im nonbinary, genderqueer, unaligned, in the agender spectrum, probably demiagender and in the xenogender umbrella

and it makes me feel like im overcompensating, you know? im unlabeled when it comes to my orientation, so i feel like i have to compensate for that getting in detail about my gender and that SUCKS because most of the time i dont even KNOW my relationship with my gender

which is why i like umbrella terms so much, i guess. saying im queer, achillean, enbian, nonbinary, genderqueer... THATS the stuff. i do find comfort in my more specific gender labels, yes, but sometimes it tires me out so much. so, so much

BUT ALSO being in the xenogender umbrella is making me feel so comfy again. i recently found out that the way i experience my gender reminds me a lot of the weather, and i feel as weather related elements are connected to my gender experience and expression. so thats neat

like..... air and sun and pronouns make me feel so GOOD and they make my gender euphoria absolutely nuts it always feels so RIGHT and im researching weather-related xenogenders because woooo

but anyway these days ive been feeling so pressured to like... “pick” a sexuality and its making me feel so bad ...... i like simply being queer and unlabeled but i feel thats not .. enough? like being genderqueer and nonbinary wasnt totally . It

also fun fact i usually notice how my gender expression shifts when i start feeling more comfy with another of my names. mostly being called miuri is great but there are somedays that being Leo or Aspen or Basil is just

dante is kind of the same as miuri i think . and usually aspen and basil are the names that make me euphoric the most

anyway im feeling that even tho im overcompensating with my gender labels it still isnt enough and im still unsettled and kind of dysphoric AND having an unlabeled orientation is making me feel like shit :)

honestly just call me queer. have i mentioned i love being queer?

anyway if you want to call me queer or ask me about something i mentioned in this thread or just like validate me heres my ccat lmao http://curiouscat.me/miuwuri