Update: My relationship advice to “Scott” (& you):

He says talking w/ “her” has slowed down

He feels like he isn’t good at “being interesting”

To which I said, “dating isn’t about you convincing her you are interesting?”

It’s about you making HER feel interesting!

Most ppl aren’t wanting you to blow them away w/ how cool you are, so you can stop worrying about how to be cool

Communication is about making THEM feel cool & interesting

& anyone can do that!

Most ppl never have anyone ask them about themselves

so learn to nail the ask

Luckily I’m a communication professor, so I’m happy to intervene & wanted to share w/ my Twitter family 36 questions you can ask someone to fall in love

I’ve shared these with “Scott”, I’ve shared them with my friends in marital trouble

& now I’m sharing them to you

Ask someone on a date (can be over zoom) & tell them it’s going to take about 2 hrs

These 36 questions were developed by Dr. Aron Arthur & are meant to gradually lead to intimacy

He brought 2 strangers into a lab, gave them 36 questions to discuss, & those strangers got married

People always think intimacy is about sex. It’s not. Intimacy is self disclosure

This is why affairs don’t have to be sexual, to cross even deeper relational boundaries

The problem with relationships is that we tend to ask the least questions of the ppl we know the MOST

Here is the link to the questions. Seth & I did it on my 30th birthday, & it was the best date we ever had

I recommend it to couples when I do seminars on improving intimacy. They aren’t foolproof, but it’s a great start

Happy falling in love! http://36questionsinlove.com/