that's another thing i see a lot... so many people attribute lan wangji's repression / emotional arc to the rigidity of the lan sect, but that's such an oversimplification: lan wangji *chose* to throw himself into that rigidity as a crutch for his own fears & insecurities

the main source of lan wangji's inner turmoil, the reason WHY he's so caught up in The Rules, is connected to his background.. it's his experiences with his mother, his father, and his uncle, all mixed up in a funky little teenage sexuality crisis (and also there's necromancy)

there's:

- his mother, who he was exceptionally close to and regarded as "good," but was constantly reminded was a Bad Person

- his father, who had broken the rules and chosen love over what was right and just

- his uncle, who constantly reminded him of both of those things

and like, i can't even begrudge lan qiren his bitterness honestly bc his brother dragged a murderer home and married her in the dead of night so she wouldn't be executed, and that choice literally destroyed his life, her life, the lives of both their sons, AND lan qiren's life

and lan wangji had to grow up in the wake of that... that was his formative experience with the idea of what love was (selfish & a temptation) and the concept of choosing what you want over choosing what's morally good and right (at least according to the rules)

anyway one day i'll just write a character study but the point is that lan wangji chose to enshroud himself in the sect's rules and use them as an armor because he was terrified of his own judgment and that's a reflection on him moreso than the sect itself. send tweet.