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that& #39;s another thing i see a lot... so many people attribute lan wangji& #39;s repression / emotional arc to the rigidity of the lan sect, but that& #39;s such an oversimplification: lan wangji *chose* to throw himself into that rigidity as a crutch for his own fears & insecurities
the main source of lan wangji& #39;s inner turmoil, the reason WHY he& #39;s so caught up in The Rules, is connected to his background.. it& #39;s his experiences with his mother, his father, and his uncle, all mixed up in a funky little teenage sexuality crisis (and also there& #39;s necromancy)
there& #39;s:
- his mother, who he was exceptionally close to and regarded as "good," but was constantly reminded was a Bad Person
- his father, who had broken the rules and chosen love over what was right and just
- his uncle, who constantly reminded him of both of those things
- his mother, who he was exceptionally close to and regarded as "good," but was constantly reminded was a Bad Person
- his father, who had broken the rules and chosen love over what was right and just
- his uncle, who constantly reminded him of both of those things
and like, i can& #39;t even begrudge lan qiren his bitterness honestly bc his brother dragged a murderer home and married her in the dead of night so she wouldn& #39;t be executed, and that choice literally destroyed his life, her life, the lives of both their sons, AND lan qiren& #39;s life
and lan wangji had to grow up in the wake of that... that was his formative experience with the idea of what love was (selfish & a temptation) and the concept of choosing what you want over choosing what& #39;s morally good and right (at least according to the rules)