yesterday, my friend @DAkacki was super brave and shared his desire to make a lifestyle change and be more healthy. today is day 2 of his journey.
some of you may know i have been on my own grind (off and on my entire life, but most recently) since october of last year. 1/n https://twitter.com/dakacki/status/1297235821700042753">https://twitter.com/dakacki/s...

i am going to put a content warning cause i don’t fully know where this thread is going but expect to talk about or allude to: eating disorders, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, diet culture
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2/n

on oct 17th, i spent the night in the ER bc i had a panic attack and thought i was going to die. i had spent the previous 2wks on an unstoppable binge, and had gained ~10 lbs in that time. i’ve struggled with binge eating since age 8, at least thats as far back as i remember. 3/n

i have only told a few people that, and not even my family (sorry). so it’s kinda wild im telling twitter, but hi, here we go. i had hit an all-time high weight, which to me is significant bc i had lost 45ish lbs at one point and told myself i’d never go back to that number. 4/n

anyway, my problem is i struggle to consistently believe in myself. i get scared of success. i get scared of the attention i get when i am more ~conventionally attractive~ (don’t get me started on the politics of desirability and internalized fatphobia y’all). 5/n