1/Let me say this. I've lectured self-described radical groups and conservative women. You'd be surprised what some groups agree on once they come to understand concepts that are new to them. I understand why people get defensive when new concepts are introduced.
2/If you've lived your life one way and your life has been rather insular maybe you've never met Sex Workers (I have), maybe you haven't been in Disabled spaces (I have) or Black Queer spaces (I have/I am). Then you may not understand those joy, struggles, or movements. So listen
3/I urge folx not to dismiss lived experiences, deep research, and/or labor of movements that are trying to achieve equity, inclusion, and equal access without first asking questions to aid your understanding. Just because "you don't get it" someone else probably does. Ask! But,
4/Don't ask for free labor. If someone wants to answer your question, that's up to them. Don't demand it. Just because it challenges your current belief system or makes you uncomfortable that's not on them, that's on you.