Hey @Instacart - I've gotten about 600 "reset your password" emails in the past 3 hours. I'm pretty sure I don't have an Instacart account. Everything okay over there?

pls help @Instacart pls i beg u

i get several emails every minute @Instacart please i thought i wanted to be popular but now i see how overwhelming fame and fortune can be

12:49pm and we're at 733 @Instacart emails. I will give a free Among Legends shirt and sticker collection to anyone who correctly guesses the minute I hit 1000 emails from my new fans at Instacart

1:01pm big things coming soon

oh shit sorry guys i was in the shower and missed this but anyways @Instacart just sent me 500 new emails in 15 or 20 minutes like you can just SAY you're a big fan instead of doing the old MSN sign-in-sign-out thing to get my attention

life update: all new @Instacart emails are going to my Junk folder but I cannot unsubscribe. I have tried pleading with the robot email address and the only response so far has been 5 more of the same email

or 6 or whatever i can't add

My pitch to @NoiseyMusic @BuzzFeedMusic and/or Ariana @HuffPostCanada - band who was nominated as the local newspaper's Reader's Choice: Band but didn't actually win is now being bombarded with un-unsubscribable emails from Instacart but I have never even used Instacart AMA

@NoiseyMusic @BuzzFeedMusic @HuffPostCanada A different interesting thing about our band is that we we nearly played a cool show with everyone's favourite anti-social-distancing all stars Smash Mouth at the 2018 Kitchener Oktoberfest but then Steve Harwell got sick

THE NERVE

trying to build bridges with @Instacart as the email count crests 1600 - perhaps we could direct all this email attention to one of my mortal enemies instead. make this whole thing productive and meaningful and truly *worth* something

noooo @Instacart this is not what i asked

the year is 2199. traditional money is a thing of the past. the only currency left is Reset Your Password emails from @Instacart but they're worth nothing because of how often they're produced. i own them all. i am the world's poorest man with an infinite supply of currency

i tried to login to a) see if i actually did have an @Instacart account and b) see if there was maybe a live chat feature where i could beg someone for mercy but of course this issue makes sad, tragic, perfect sense

my favourite BMTH song is There Is A Hell Believe Me I've Gotten Nearly 2000 Emails From @Instacart Since 6am This Morning

i currently have two thousand one hundred and forty-eight emails from @Instacart asking me to reset my password, which i did not request and which i cannot do because the requests come so quickly the reset token expires before i can load the webpage. susie, grey, please help me

Susie. Grey. Anyone at @Instacart. Please for the love of all that is holy please for my ballooning Unread count please for your company's deliverability rate please check your DMs