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i let twitter polls decide and here it is. my story w this one armo guy and why i have trust issues, a thread:
this was never something i planned on doing bc anyone who knows me knows that i am super not the confrontational or exposing type but a lot of people in my life made me realize that by me speaking up, it could prevent the same thing from happening to another girl.
so i had been with this boy for about 2 years, and it was a very toxic time. there was a lot of lying, cheating, and manipulation going on. but there’s ONE story in particular that i wanted to share.
we ended all contact in may of this year & i was hurt, i mean i really did love this boy & i was trying to find ways to deal with it. i started making tiktoks. never revealed his name, face, or anything that “exposed” who he was & i also only had like 10 followers at the time.
i was making these videos solely for my entertainment and for me to cope (it honestly helped, allowed me to find humor in the situation). i was making tiktoks about how i was cheated on (how he would secretly hook up w girls when he told me he was w his buddies, etc.)
this is when the DMs started rolling in, at first i was honestly ignoring them bc they were baseless threats and i wasnt looking for a fight, i was just making fun of a shitty situation that i put myself in.
one tiktok in particular, was a tiktok that i remade using somebody else’s sound & i was lipsyncing over it. i uploaded it, without any ill-intention, i just thought it was hilarious how i lipsynced it perfectly. my caption was about my dad & how he was watching me make tiktoks.
my friends, who are an extension of my moral compass, also thought it was funny and didnt see it as wrong.
not even 5 minutes later, i start getting messages from this boy cussing me out. it was then that he revealed to me that he has multiple “sex tapes” of us as he would secretly record us having sex. he was threatening to post them.
OBVIOUSLY, i was scared. this was the first threat i actually took seriously. i knew very little about the law, but this was one i knew was illegal. before i replied to him, i got in contact with a mentor of mine who happens to be a lawyer. i sent her my tiktoks & his messages
she reassured me that this was indeed illegal as CA is a two-party state (you cant record anything without both parties’ consent) and i was very easily identifiable in the videos. plus, if he did post them, it would be considered revenge porn.
but getting legal was the last thing that i wanted, i just wanted an apology for the videos and for them to be gone. so with all this information, i messaged him back.
i never really got an apology and even after talking to his parents and his family, he still thinks he didn’t do anything wrong and basically i just let it go and tried my best to move on.
this was something i never planned on speaking publicly about UNTIL last night when, by complete fate i met a girl who happened to be one of his exes, & she said something that struck me: “My biggest fear was that another girl was going to go through what I went through with him”
i feel dirty. it feels like shit knowing that you trusted someone w ur body, welcomed him into ur home, just for him to be secretly recording you & for what? to use against you later? i learned last night that im not the only woman he fucked over, but that’s their story to tell.
moral of the story, u think u know someone until u don’t. i was with this boy for about 2 years, & i didn’t think he was capable of all this + everything else i learned. i hope no one has to go through any of what we went through & if any of u have, im here if you need to talk
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hi. just wanted to add. this is why i made the thread. because i’m not the only one, and because he has gotten away w stuff like this for years
