hey !!! as your resident shegay i wanted to make a thread explaining she/her gays and hopefully answering any questions u might have :)

the flag above was created by wuvsbian on tumblr - unfortunately not a she/her gay, however most of the community has reclaimed it and r comfortable using it . if you have any alternatives though, feel free to drop them so ppl can use one they're more comfy with if they choose !

i also want to thank my great friend @autisticklaus for his carrd on the subject ! she no longer identifies as gay atm, and i have a lot to say abt this myself, so i decided to take matters into my own hands

— what is a she/her gay ?

simple: a she/her gay is a masc- or non-aligned gay person ( as in mlm !! ) who uses she/her pronouns . they may use other pronouns along with she/her, or she/her exclusively .

— why tho ?
trauma mention /

they may use she/her because they are gender nonconforming or nonbinary, due to trauma, or just bcs they feel comfortable with using them for whatever reason !

— but don't pronouns = gender ?

often, but not always . pronouns are gendered, obviously, but they are a form of gender EXPRESSION, just like clothing, names, etc . pronouns are often more important than other forms, but they're still just a way to express your gender identity

— oh so like he/him lesbians ?

there are some differences ( namely that lesbophobia & misogyny often play a factor in how gnc/nby lesbians identify ! ) but yes, it's the same concept ! if you support/understand one, you should support/understand the other

— oh so like drag queens ?

many drag queens are she/her gays, yes . gays using she/her pronouns is nothing new, and likely did stem from the drag community; many drag queens use she/her in and out of drag . however it's important to note that she/her gays are not +

just playing a character . most drag queens who use she/her pronouns out of drag are doing so not because of their character but bcs they are gnc or even nby and are comfortable with them .

but either way if you can call a drag queen out of drag she, you can call all of us she !

— if you're nby why don't you use they/them ?

nby people do NOT have to use they/them pronouns . enforcing this idea is forcing us into a trinary or a "third gender" .

— if you're nby how can you be gay ?

nby is not a lack of gender or a third gender . it's a spectrum, so nby people can & do align w/ a gender/genders and/or identify with any sexuality . even unaligned nbys can find their only connection to gender is through their sexuality .

— but u make the lgbt community look like a joke waaa

lgbtphobes will hate the lgbt community no matter what . focus on that .

it's not lgbt peoples' responsibility to water down and alter our identities to make our oppressors comfortable .

— wow i understand now shegays are very awesome and cool !

glad i could help !

btw: i like the term, but not all of us are ok with being called shegays by non she/her gays, so be sure to ask !

— wow i don't understand pls help

you don't have to fully understand something to respect it, that's all i ask you to do . and you can always shoot me a dm if you want to discuss it further w/ me !

if you have any more questions, again, you can always dm me or send me a cc . i will say i don't check my ccs on this acc super often but i do have an alt acc @enbykurt where i usually respond v quickly . i will respond to dms on either acc asap !!

ok that's all she/her gays and he/him lesbians r perfect and so are all xenogender and neopronoun users i am giving u all a big hug <333333 cis ppl shut up boo