So now I’ve listened to 5, I guess all, the episodes of Nice White Parents. Most of it hits home. Not just close but it’s me, here and there. Not a knockout but yeah a lot of it resembles me and my life, attempts at being involved at school etc. as a relatively nice white parent.

So I’ll be honest about what I’m thinking about re: Middle School choices. Our older kid is about to start 5th grade. We didn’t move for schools. Dual language elementary was a blessing. I wanted to be involved as it felt meaningful. I hope it has been.

We want older kid to continue with friends and peers. That’s local dual language MS. But we also live just west of an arbitrary line that would let us send this kid (though not younger one) across town to a big MS full of programs and way more white kids, way more kids like ours.

Wife has always said that as long as there is runway ahead we will stick with what we’ve got and avoid segregation. But given older kid’s academic trajectory I really wonder how much runway we got left.

When I was a kid I went to the only elementary school, middle school, high school in a large rural area. I know a kid from there can succeed. But I won’t lie that I resented the bigger town nearby with all the classes, sports, opportunities they had. I wanted more, wanted out.

But now it looks like I get to choose for my kid. Will there be ‘runway’ at local MS with his friends? Should I sign up for the underdog because that’s who I was? Or give kid the likely greater opportunity I never got a shot at? (+why am I looking at my life to decide for kid?)

And then there’s that it’s likely this kid could get into a selective HS regardless. So it may not matter. And also, I’m not going to be any kind of professional activist! So how many chances am I going to get to do anything about segregation or hoarding privilege in this life?

I know what I want to choose. But will my wife agree? Will my kid resent me for it? Will kid miss opportunities he could’ve had? Kid TODAY said the one school has a cross country team and local MS doesn’t. Kid notices! What do I say if kid complains? Can I ever be secure in this?