reasons why wwx has adhd, a thread by me:

**note: i'm mostly skimming since 'brief' wound up being 3k & i'm on painkillers that will not allow me to make it to the end of a longer thread than that LMAO**

1st thing's 1st: what /is/ adhd? for how common it is, adhd is criminally misunderstood by laymen and doctors alike. so, before jumping in, let me explain what adhd /actually/ is

adhd is a neurological disorder that doubles as a learning disability. while it is commonly boiled down to being hyperactive & distractible, it actually impacts several core functions of day-to-day life referred to as 'executive functioning'

as you can see, adhd affects a /ton/ of necessary functions, well beyond “oh look! a squirrel!” and fidgeting relentlessly (altho those r also common symptoms). & since adhd is a neuro disorder, there is no cure (only treatment)

stimulants boost dopamine levels (which are frequently low in adhd ppl; instant gratification activities r popular amongst adhd ppl b/c of the easy access dopamine—I could go on abt this at length, but will spare y’all the nitty gritty details)

anyway!! onto the reason why y'all are really here: wwx!

1. wwx & memory

adhd affects working/short-term memory more than it does long-term memory (e.g. repeating “do x do x do x” to remember, only for 1 stray thought to wreck it all and suddenly x either doesn’t exist or is nothing more than the foggy remnant of an idea)—

—altho ime these interruptions of short-term memory /also/ affect long-term memory (e.g. when I /know/ I put my keys somewhere during x period of time, but when retracing my “steps” I always blank out at the exact interval where I set down the keys)

which should spark some ideas for wwx! he frequently references his “bad memory”, but in an early exchange w/nhs, we see that while he has no mind for school-work, he is /very/ good at remembering things he’s interested in (more on that later). further, his issues w/names?

if someone fails to make an impression, he /completely/ forgets them. bc he didn’t put any effort into storing them in his short-term memory, they simply do not exist in his long-term memory.

his failings in memory around locations and events is a bit more complicated, as there r a lot of factors (he was in stasis for 13-16 years!!), but considering the chaos of the sunshot campaign & all that followed, I would be 0% surprised if wwx’s brain buried a lot of memories—

—from his youth to make room for things he /needed/ to remember to stay alive. (I could do a whole nother thread abt how wwx’s trauma affects his memory as well, but let’s leave that for another day)

2. wwx & impulsivity

[jiang cheng voice] stop playing the hero!

wwx’s impulsivity is the sort that I, an adhd’er, frequently overlook bc ‘haha wdym that’s totally normal’—but it’s there! ofc, it /is/ mixed in w/the rest of his personality (which only makes sense) & thus might be easy to overlook. however, in scenes like his attempt to get a—

—room at the caiyi hotel, wwx sees an issue and immediately steps in to “solve” it without thinking his plan through. all he knows is that there’s smth that needs to be fixed & he has the means to fix it… he just has to think of what those means r, is all.

u also see this w/his talismans; wwx just. does not practice lab safety. at all. it may or may not drive me mad. his mad scientist energy stems from this aspect of his adhd

there’s also his tendency toward mischief and tomfoolery.

from all of the many stunts that he and jc have pulled to how much he enjoys high-risk behaviors (more on that soon), it’s easy enough to infer that wwx acts on impulse more often than not quite early in CQL.

further!!! u see this w/his flirtatious endeavors; he doesn’t think things through, just talks and flirts and jumps from idea to idea (*gasp* lan zhan do u like mianmian?), but I’ll cover all of that later

3. wwx & attention/focus

quite a few ppl have pointed out wwx’s tendency toward hyperfixation (& r all totally correct), but I thought I’d expand on what that means in terms of adhd rq

while we don’t know a lot abt how adhd affects the brain, we /do/ know that it frequently affects dopamine transmitters (hence the use of stimulants in treatment; they increase dopamine levels. if anyone’s interested in an explanation of this function lmk & I’ll gladly—

—explain further). so when it comes to maintaining focus/attention/energy on a task, dopamine is what makes or breaks the whole situation.

in essence, when smth sparks joy (e.g. talismans, night-hunts, pissing off wen chao), dopamine is released; the adhd brain latches onto anything that provides immediate gratification (thus explaining a predisposition to addiction, gambling, & other high-risk, high-reward behavior

as adhd rides the dopamine for as long as possible. likewise, when smth does /not/ spark joy (or will take longer to do so), the adhd brain will not put much effort into focusing on the task at hand, instead tempting the adhd’er to go back to the instant gratification behavior

a tangent on wwx & addiction:

I’m so glad wq brought this up, bc it’s a serious issue! ignoring the other factors that drive wwx to drink, there’s also the fact that it feels /good/. (if done properly) ppl with adhd are at high risk for addiction-forming behaviors like drug use, alcoholism, and gambling, and—

—wwx is no exception. the alcohol presses a pleasant button, releases dopamine, and adhd brain says “kthnx I’ll take 1,000 more of that plz”

(ok tangent over)

there’s more to be said abt wwx’s ability to focus (I haven’t even /touched/ on his schoolwork & the bits and pieces he struggles with—

—including memory recall & getting distracted by a thought experiment while answering a question & just. you know. constantly falling asleep in class) but I’ve gone on for too long & it’s time to move on lmao

just know that the breakdown re: attention/focus/effort & school goes like this: school is not interesting, so it gets less focus & talismans /are/ interesting, so they get more focus—& it’s not so much of a conscious decision as it is a matter of “brain like” vs “brain no like”

4. wwx & disorganization

have you seen wwx studying? or just how he lives in general? papers everywhere, clothes left in strange places, no thoughts, head empty, everything goes to the most convenient spot /at that moment/ w/out consideration for what may be convenient later.

one might argue that the disarray of wwx’s cave at the bm is due to the situation as a whole, which is a fair point, but the repeated pattern of wwx spreading out in the library, in wq’s study, /and/ in the bm suggests—

—that this is not due to circumstance so much as it is due to his previously formed habits.

I also want to touch on wwx’s thought processes here. it’s noted time and time again that he thinks of things that no one else does, and the places his head goes are often far different from those around him; this is /incredibly/ common w/adhd.

while I’ve heard ppl insist that adhd means your “thoughts move quicker” I can’t help but think that’s incorrect; if anything, our minds go /slower/ (thus needing more stimulation to fill in the gaps) but they make connections that others simply would not consider

remember those games where you’d call a schoolmate a bitch and they’d turn it into a compliment illuminati-style? that referential style of thinking is how adhd’ers think /all the time/

(e.g. I’m thinking abt food. I remember that I haven’t eaten dinner. I remember the show that was playing last time I ate dinner. now I’m thinking abt a plot point that I’m really interested in. that plot point involves music; now I’m thinking about music. now I’m thinking about—

—a specific artist, which leads to me thinking about crab rave, which in turn leads me to think abt obscure things, which finally ends w/me thinking abt the mothman mona lisa decoration on my desk

& in the end my conversation partner doesn’t understand how I went from “I want dinner” to “hey so how bout motha lisa”)

to me, this is how wwx thinks. referential thinking leads him to make connections and ask questions others wouldn’t think to ask. it also means he overlooks obvious connections in conversation (“what do you MEAN you don’t have parents you were BORN”)—

—bc /his mind simply did not hit that step in the decoding process/

5. wwx & emotional dysregulation

(ft. a rant abt the fucking STUPID diagnostic standards for adhd)

emotional dysregulation is a /massive/ part of adhd that is widely unrecognized bc the asshat who came up with the diagnostic procedures for adhd was too lazy to find a quantitative way of measuring the intensity & ability to manage emotions. I don’t know this asshat’s name &—

—never intend to learn bc I hate him. bc!! the thing abt this being widely unknown (even to doctors!!) is that adhd’ers are /frequently/ misdiagnosed with rapid-cycling bipolar (as was the case for me) or with another disorder related to anger management. there’s a statistic—

—which states the % of inmates whose incarceration is related to anger management issues who actually just had undiagnosed adhd. I don’t remember the number, only that seeing it pissed me off to a pretty significant fucking degree, if u couldn't already tell

ANYWAY. back to wwx

we see more of his mood swings & emotional dysregulation when wwx is channeling the resentful energy of the yin iron—however, I’m wholly of the opinion that the yin iron doesn’t /change/ one’s personality so much as it /magnifies/ it. if the yin iron made everyone emotionally—

—unstable, then xy would have been a LOT more to handle; his whole shebang was /nothing/ compared to yllz-era wwx. I’m focusing on this period bc it’s when we see all of wwx’s emotions quite clearly; he struggles to keep his emotions under control & needs outside help to calm

*cough* lwj *cough*

however, we see this aspect of wwx long before he begins channeling the yin iron, all the way back to his time in cloud recesses. when jzx insults jyl, wwx /snaps/ and gets into a nasty fight with jzx. altho his anger is justifiable, the size & intensity are of note

see, folks w/adhd frequently do not develop the tools to manage their own emotions, which is an issue bc their feelings tend to be very intense and variable. intense mood swings (from jubilant to rage) are not uncommon, and are easier to understand if u consider emotions NOT as—

—a sliding scale but as different inputs on scale of intensity. (this also plays into RSD, explained later) in other words, the more intensely u experience one emotion, the more intensely u’ll feel the next emotion in your switchboard.

so, without the means of regulating those emotions and coming back to baseline, it is incredibly easy for adhd ppl to “overreact” or lash out in anger (or any other number of emotions)—all of which we see wwx trying to cope with for the duration of the series

there’s so much more I could talk abt, but my doc says I’m already at 2k and if I keep going I’ll literally be here all night—so now it’s time for the fun* stuff!!

*if by “fun” one means “emotional pain and suffering”

obvs there’s a lot going here. 1st there’s the fact that his r-ship w/madam yu is /extremely/ complicated (on account of her clear dislike of him), which is an issue only compounded by how often she reminds wwx that she does not consider him worthy of being so familiar with her—

—family since he’s “just the son of a servant” (& then there’s also the whole thing with how she believes wwx is jfm’s bastard, which is another thread altogether)

I’ve mentioned RSD a couple times now, so let me explain further: rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) is a disorder that is often coupled with adhd. w/rsd, one becomes extremely sensitive to perceived and legitimate rejection & they experience /extreme/ (-) feelings in response

—to even small perceived slights. & when I say extreme, I do mean /extreme/. self-loathing and self-directed rage (sometimes culminating in self-destructive thoughts & behavior) are par for the course when it comes to rsd.

so, couple rsd w/madam yu’s mission to invalidate wwx’s very existence & you’ve got a hefty issue on ur hands, bc madam yu is 100% an rsd trigger for wwx, as evidenced by the way he shuts down when she’s around, even before she starts in on him. he /expects/ her to lash out—

—at him and tries to make himself small (hides his pride so he doesn’t appear to be stepping beyond his station as a servant) in the hope that she will not come after him. this anticipation, paired with the inevitability of madam yu’s disdain, only make the rsd worse, which—

—compounds his trauma related to madam yu. I could go on, but to do so I’d have to begin breaking down madam yu as a character (she makes /sense/ but that doesn’t mean I have to like her or her actions)

7. wwx & jiang fangman(sp)

I feel like I’m going to be saying this a lot, but wwx feels indebted to jfm for taking him off the streets and giving him a family. however, this feeling of gratitude is met w/a feeling of displacement (from madam yu) & guilt over the way jfm favors him over jc. every time jfm—

—complements wwx, that swelling of pride seems to be undercut by the way jfm then turns to jc (or ignores him altogether). while this favoritism and strictness makes sense, it still has a heavy impact on wwx’s feelings

(can you tell that I’m getting tired from how much less I’m writing now LMAO)

8. wwx & jiang cheng

I could write a 25 page paper on wwx & jc’s r-ship alone, but let’s put it this way: wwx’s rship w/jc began on a sour note. he may not feel /bad/ abt the dogs being sent away, but jc makes sure he always remembers this slight. in a brotherly way, ofc, but… still.

there’s a definite playful sibling energy btwn them, but it’s hard to believe that wwx doesn’t take any of it to heart, especially when one considers his rather lacking self-image. while wwx makes an effort /not/ to feel too strongly abt what jc has to say, it still lodges—

—itself in his heart, solidified with small doses of rsd amongst their playful bouts and banter, and thus influences his attitude toward himself.

(I know I said I could say a lot but no joke the meds r kicking in & I’m sleeby)

9. wwx & jiang yanli

before I start, I want to make it clear that jyl is /very/ good to wwx & that I understand her rationale for certain actions later in the series.

with that out of the way, wwx’s feelings for jyl go beyond filial—not romantic, but protective and /indebted/. this is part of his whole “kindness is an exchange” schtick, but shouldn’t be overlooked. wwx constantly wants to repay jyl for her care and kindness (regardless if he—

—realizes this) and does everything he can to make sure his shijie is happy, cared for, and in the best possible circumstances.

here enters jzx, whom wwx does /not/ believe will be capable of doing any of these things for jyl. while jc is resigned & willing to let jyl make her own choices here, all wwx can think abt is making sure jyl is getting the best deal for her life. it’s not on par w/hyperfixation—

—but he lacks the ability to regulate his emotions like jc in these situations (a sentence I never thought I’d write, yet here we are). wwx’s intense need to /protect/ & /repay/ jyl’s kindness heavily influences his actions toward jzx

(he is also influenced by adoration & love, but I’m here to talk abt adhd related shit, so)

then lp is burned, & shit gets even more complicated.

wwx has now been explicitly /tasked/ w/protecting his siblings, and any failure to do so means failure—which, in turn, means rsd. when jc allows himself to be captured in order to save wwx, wwx cannot help but take this personally. and, tho he is torn abt leaving jyl, he can’t—

—just leave jc to wen chao. when they make it to wen qing’s place, all of these complicated emotions (grief, anger—self-directed and otherwise, terror for the future, etc.) come to a head and wwx turns to jyl for comfort. however, jyl is /also/ dealing w/ a complicated slew of—

—emotions, and responds less than kindly, allowing wwx to continue blaming himself for the siege of lp. w/out the means to regulate his emotions (and lets be honest, even if he /could/ come down from the intensity of these feelings) wwx makes it his sole purpose to—

—find a way to ‘fix’ things for his siblings.

and I’m gonna stop there bc I don’t want to think abt what happens toward the end

10. wwx & the 3,000 rules of cloud recesses

(yes, these get their own r-ship break down lmao)

so here’s the thing about adhd: it likes routine. it also /hates/ routine.

having patterns to work by helps keep everything on track, allows adhd’ers to combat time blindness (which I have not broken down in this thread and don’t really plan on doing), and creates touchstones for those days when you’re just going through the motions. however, the act of

/creating/ routine fucking sucks, and is only worse when that routine is foisted upon you. the worst, however, is a routine without flexibility.

rigidity is the nemesis of adhd; it needs wiggle room, some room to play and allow for error/distraction. and the 3,000 rules of cloud recesses are without flexibility by design. even ignoring how most of the rules seem hellish for an adhd person, the rigidity of the rules is—

well. is it really any wonder that wwx broke so many of them?

11. wwx & lan wangji

aka the moment we've all been waiting for!!

not only do we see wwx flirting /constantly/ (look at me, lwj! pay attention to me! I just want you to speak!), we can see how seriously he takes it when lwj resolutely continues to ignore him. part of this means that wwx takes the shut-out personally (he hates me!) while the—

—other part means that adhd brain has latched onto a game worth playing: can he get lwj’s attention? what about a smile? a laugh? he enjoys prodding, partially bc he just enjoys lwj, but also bc he gets a lovely spark of those Good Good Feelings when he succeeds

then there’s his obliviousness—just. i understand WHY he failed to make the "no parents = dead" connection, but c’mon, man!

my theory here is that wwx is /so/ used to being reprimanded/scolded/turned down that he doesn’t really know how to respond to someone who might like him back; rather than accept that lwj allowing him to touch the sacred headband /means/ smth, wwx assumes that it’s only—

—out of necessity, refusing to look beyond the surface of the action. if he keeps looking, he’ll have to face the enormity of his feelings, and doing so is /dangerous/. those feelings can change so swiftly, take control of him with ease, and that’s a risk he is unwilling to take

so instead, in classic oblivious!adhd'er style, wwx dances around lwj, enjoying the way he feels around him while refusing to analyze why he feels that way

and that's it for the night folks!! let me know if there's anything else you want me to touch on & i'll see what i can do. for now, tho, i'm gonna take a nap