reflecting on this further: what's happening to me is fucked up. i am continuing to be punished for daring to say that some leftist fuck can't rape me, and his friends can't further abuse me with a sham accountability process, and keep their trash leftist platform.

i have been really quiet about this for a long time. but y'all are fucked up.

who the fuck cares if i had bad politics in 2011??? i was still doing fundraising for shelters for homeless youth and going out of my way to share what little housing i had with people i met who were housing insecure, bc i understood deeply what it was like to sleep on the street

and now? i understand deeply what it's like to be abused and silenced and discredited by leftist rapists who are building their platforms by talking about patriarchy and accountability and whatever. and i will fight for survivors regardless of what fucked up people say or do.

i had a weird conservative blog with zero followers! i tell everyone i meet about how bad my politics were in 2011! it gets to be hilarious bc i wasn't in a position of power or influence. i had just gotten housed and i was still posting CL ads offering blowjobs to cover my rent.

but when i speak out about my rape, y'all dig deep into my past and can't find anything about me except that i had bad politics in 2011? and you're really holding that against me because i continue to support survivors? fuck y'all.

i spent my whole life fighting just to survive. physically fighting back against rapists and abusers. running away from abusive homes and foster homes, finding myself in new abusive situations, and struggling. i needed to believe that, if i fought hard enough, i could make it.

i told myself that lie for as long as i needed to, and when i was safe and housed, i let it go. i have been working for years to build safety from state violence + interpersonal violence. i'm proud of my life, my journey, my work, and my integrity. and once again: fuck y'all.

and for the record, i alluded to this in my open letter shared in march. i know that i have internalized capitalist oppression in the past. naming it is important for interrogating & addressing it. we all have work to do.

some of y'all need to get to work https://medium.com/@theleilaraven/an-open-letter-to-the-former-commune-magazine-editor-who-raped-me-1b1cf0c3f1e8