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You know... I& #39;ve been thinking a lot about this lately. I think I finally figured out how to put it into words. /srs
tw // talk about mental health
For the past five years, all I& #39;ve wanted is to be part of a solid friend group. A small one, where we all know each other really well. I& #39;ve tried so hard to find people like that, but everytime I try they always end up leaving. >>
For the past five years, all I& #39;ve wanted is to be part of a solid friend group. A small one, where we all know each other really well. I& #39;ve tried so hard to find people like that, but everytime I try they always end up leaving. >>
When I first found TOH fandom, I didn& #39;t really think anything of it. As I slowly got into it more, I noticed that it was pretty small. People made friends with each other so easily! It was great! I tried joining a fee group chats and discord servers here and there, but >>
it always ends the same way.
I join while the group is small, and then slowly it starts filling up. It& #39;s great! Until about 100 people join, and then I& #39;m constantly being talked over and ignored. It& #39;s hard to find a genuine friend. So I leave. And it keeps happening. >>
I join while the group is small, and then slowly it starts filling up. It& #39;s great! Until about 100 people join, and then I& #39;m constantly being talked over and ignored. It& #39;s hard to find a genuine friend. So I leave. And it keeps happening. >>
But after I leave, things change. I see inside jokes that I& #39;m not a part of. I see group activities that I really wanna join! But I can& #39;t. I& #39;m just so scared to talk to anyone. I hate it. I wish I could just reach out to people that I like and be friends with them. I want to. >>>
It& #39;s gotten to the point where all I can do is look at things I& #39;m not a part of and cry. Because that& #39;s all I ever do. And I hate it. I hate myself for it. All I want is someone who I can talk to who is similar to me. And I could do that. All I need to do is talk more. >>
And I should! There& #39;s so many amazing people here who would be more that willing to include me into whatever they do. I& #39;m so scared of missing out on something. I hate the feeling of someone else knowing something I don& #39;t, when it comes to people I know. And I shouldn& #39;t! >>
